How to Work Hospitality Into Your Busy Schedule
Most Christians I have talked to like the idea of hospitality. Maybe they have read “The Gospel Comes with a House Key.” Perhaps they know a couple at their Church who is always opening up their home. But liking the idea of hospitality and actually inviting people over your house are two very different things. What is the biggest barrier to opening up your home? Oftentimes, it is scheduling. There are only 7 days in a week, so how do you work hospitality into your busy schedule?
Hospitality is having people over your house to talk with them, get to know them, and hopefully to have opportunities to speak into their lives. It is an avenue to discipleship, evangelism, and closeness with others. Hospitality is a simple concept and a much needed practice in our modern, disconnected world. Having strangers over to share a meal is one of the best ways to start meaningful relationships.
In this post, I want to you give three simple steps to start building hospitality into your week.
Step 1: Choose a day of the week you will open up your home
The first step is simple: set apart an evening for having people over your house. The best way to start a new habit is to schedule it. You aren’t going to wake up one day and decide you should have a dozen people over your house. It oftentimes starts with planning on having people over for one dinner.
Look at your typical week. Choose an evening you will keep free each week. That is the evening you will invite people over for dinner. Don’t schedule anything else for that evening. It is a time you are committing to opening up your home.
If you want to work hospitality into your busy schedule, you are going to have to commit to it.
Most good, eternal things require self-sacrifice. Hospitality is no different. You are going to have to sacrifice a night you could do something by yourself or with your family and commit to having people over.
What day do you choose? I know a couple who used to go to my Church who opened up their home every Sunday night. After Sunday night service, people would come over and fellowship around a meal to close out the Lord’s day. They had five kids, yet still managed to prioritize hospitality. I know another couple who has someone from Church over for dinner every Thursday. Sometimes, it is a visitor who just started coming to our Church who they invited over. Other times, it is a longtime member they simply want to get to know better.
My wife and I typically do Thursday night because that works best for our schedule. What is the pattern here?
If you want to open up your home, plan on opening up your home.
Get it on the calendar and make it the same day every week.
Step 2: Make a list of 5-10 people, couples, or families you want to focus on getting to know
Jesus impacted hundreds of people during His earthly ministry. But I find it interesting He focused primarily on 12 disciples, and even within that group emphasized three men to really build into. I think there is an important principle to glean from this:
You cannot disciple every single person in your local Church at the same level.
And that is freeing. Instead of trying to have every single person in the Church over your house at some point, sit down and make a list. Write out people you want to have over regularly. I would argue you should include single people in your Church, couples, and families on that list. And don’t just stop with your Church. Write down unsaved neighbors you want to get to know and have opportunities to share the gospel with.
I would limit the list to 5-10 people. You want to focus your efforts to some degree. Currently, I have 10 people I want to consistently have over. How do you choose who is on this list?
- Prioritize neighbors living nearby
- Think of people from Church who are younger than you or who you could have a disciplining relationship with
- Finally, add any people from Church you want to get to know better in general
Don’t feel constrained by this list. It is just a start so that you can perform step 3. You can of course have as many people over as you want. But you need to know the people you really want to focus on, the people you want to have over one-on-one and not in a larger group.
Step 3: Work through the people on the list every week until one of them agrees to come over for dinner
If you want to work hospitality into your busy schedule, you are going to have to pursue people. Remove the option of not having people over during a week. Now that you have a list, go from top to bottom and contact the people on the list one by one. Invite the first person or family over for dinner on whatever day you have set aside. If they say no, move on to the next person on the list.
Keep working through the list until you have a person agree to come over. The next week, move their name to the bottom of the list and work through it again. What is the point of this? You will have to consistently pursue the people on the list if you want to have any impact on their life. Everyone’s busy. But if you invite a person over for dinner three weeks in a row, that person will likely eventually make time for you.
You won’t make hospitality a habit if you only ask one person a week over and do nothing if they say “No”.
Having a list enables you to keep working until you get a “yes”. And as the months go by, perhaps your list will expand or shorten naturally based on who is available. Remember: these steps are only to start the habit of hospitality. As you grow and it becomes second nature, you might change your approach.
Work until hospitality is part of your busy schedule
You aren’t likely to wake up tomorrow and naturally be super social and open to having people in your home. You have to train yourself in godliness. A busy schedule should not stop you from practicing hospitality. It should drive you to work even harder to make sure you have a day set aside to open up your home and a group of people you consistently invite over.
Is hospitality hard work? Yes. But opening up your home gives you opportunities to speak into people’s lives in a way you never could in another context. As guests sit down for dinner, their guard goes down and you start to get to know each one another. Cleaning the dishes after dinner becomes an avenue to “make disciples” and an after-dinner walk gives a context for people to vocalize their doubts and struggles.
Work hospitality into your busy schedule. These three steps will get you started. But before you try any of these steps, pray God would open your heart so you open up your home joyfully to others.
Once you have people over, read this post to think through what meals to plan. Visit the “Building Relationships with Others” page to get tips on how to have meaningful conversations. If you found this post helpful, click below to share on Facebook or Twitter. Subscribe so you don’t miss out on any future posts and follow The Average Churchman on Instagram.