5 Ways to Happiness that Won’t Work

Have you met a person who doesn’t want happiness?

I don’t think I have. Whether a believer or an unbeliever, rich or poor, smart or not, hard-working or lazy, liberal or conservative EVERYONE I have met thus far in my life is pursuing happiness.

It is one of our “inalienable rights” as Americans. Go to the bookstore or the library. Type in “how to be happy” in your search engine. How much ink is spent on trying to convince you how to achieve happiness? 

Some say work more. Some say work less. 

Some connect it to a diet or a lifestyle. 

Some connect it to success at work. 

Some say you need to be a certain type of person. Some say you just have to be yourself.

It is the fundamental truth of our culture: pursue happiness as whatever cost.

It is in the air we breathe. Pursuing happiness is so fundamental to your and my thinking, we hardly notice it day to day.

For a lot of people, pursuing happiness is about pursuing money. The more money you have, the more power you have to choose to do things that make you happy. Seems simple enough.

Another potential avenue for happiness is finding your “dream job”. People spend their whole lives chasing a job that gives them flexibility and control. The old saying “if you love what you do, you don’t work a day in your life” has become many people’s creed. Their quest.

Fame is another road that promises to lead to happiness. The more people who are interested in you, the more validated you feel. You want to be the respected one. The expert. The person setting the trends and calling the shots. And when you feel good about yourself, you supposedly find joy.

If you turn on the television, another option for happiness is presented: things. Stuff. Objects. Every product on the market promises ease. Pleasure. Beauty. Every advertisement essentially says “If you have THIS thing, you will be happier!”

A final addition to this non-exhaustive list is other people. A spouse will make you happy. Children. Family. Community. Friendship. Someone to share life with you. Someone to love you. Someone to know you. 

There are other roads to happiness. More than I could list. Every time someone “discovers” a new road, a book is published and people wonder if THIS road is the answer to the question:

How can I be happy?

The problem with all the roads to happiness our culture promises is there are three important cliffs the roads lead to.

Failure.

Disappointment.

Loss.

Whether you are pursuing money, your dream job, fame, stuff, or fellowship with people, if is not certain you will get what you are pursuing. You can try hard. You can dedicate your life to obtaining these things.

But we live in an uncertain world. There are infinite factors, circumstances, and events that are outside the smallest bit of our control.

If your happiness is attached to getting any of these things, you might never achieve it. You might fail to get them.

But maybe you will get them. Maybe you’ll get your dream job. Maybe the person of your dreams enters your life. Maybe you get money and recognition.

That means you’ll be happy, right?

Perhaps. Perhaps not.

What if your dream job ends up not being exactly what you thought it would be?

What if having more money doesn’t actually make you feel any better?

What if the praise and attention of strangers feels hollow?

If your happiness is attached to getting any of these things, you might never have happiness. You might be disappointed when you get them.

But what if they don’t disappoint you. What if your dream job really is your dream job? Your money does allow you to do stuff you enjoy? Your spouse really IS everything you dreamed they would be and more?

This is when the biggest enemy to your pursuit of happiness enters: loss.

Having something today doesn’t guarantee having it tomorrow. Death, difficulty, and disasters all assault even those castles of happiness you think are the most safe and secure.

If your happiness is attached to getting any of these things, you will never have happiness. You will inevitably lose them at some point.

So is pursuing happiness as pursuing the wind? Should you cling tighter and tighter around anything that gives you the slightest bit of pleasure?

Is your happiness doomed for hopelessness?

No.

In the face of failure, disappointment, and loss the book of Psalms has the audacity to announce

“Happy is the man…”

And then Psalm 2 chimes in “all who take refuge in Him, are happy”.

And again and again the Psalms present happiness as possible. As obtainable.

The God who made this world has declared happiness is possible. Just not in the ways you would expect.

Starting next week, I will share a brief study of what the Psalms say about happiness. Every person wants to be happy.

So every person should seek to find what God says about happiness.

Any thoughts, comments, or questions? Reach out to me here.