One of the reasons The Average Churchman exists is to provide you with tools, methods, and ideas to help you better understand and live out Scripture. Today, I want to give you the easiest, most practical tip to improve your Bible reading that I could think of. It isn’t complicated. No master’s of Divinity is required. Simply applying this to your daily Bible reading will have profound effects on your life long-term. And the best part: you can start it today without any difficulty.
The simple process to improve your Bible reading
Let’s say you just picked up your Bible for your daily “read through the Bible in a year” plan. Here is a simple and profound method to use:
Read the passage
Pause and stop reading
Think about the passage for 10 minutes straight
That’s it. It could not get simpler. Read your passage and then stop to think about what you just read for 10 minutes. Not 5 minutes. 10 whole, uninterrupted minutes of pure reflection. It might be tempting to let your mind wander or to keep reading. Don’t: read a section of Scripture and then let it sit.
Why does this simple method work? To use a metaphor, America is a fast-food culture. We want things right away and then it is on to the next task. Sitting down and savoring a meal takes time. Fast-food might not taste all that great, but at least it is convenient and saves us time.
I fear that this mentality of “cheap, fast, and mediocre” has affected how you and I read our Bibles. Sure you want to hear from God’s word, but only if it is quick, easily applicable, and done in time for you to move on to your next task. If you want to improve your Bible reading, the first step is to savor Scripture.
The Bible is a feast of profound truth. So take some time to savor and enjoy what God has prepared for you in His word.
Taking just 10 focused minutes to think about a Scripture you read helps counteract this fast-food mentality. Rather then reading as much as you can before moving on with your day, taking a reflective pause allows you to engage with the truths you just read. So, when planning out your Bible reading time, plan for 10 minutes of reflection and non-reading. Taking this pause every time you read Scripture will allow you to remember and apply more of what you read in Scripture.
The question is, what kinds of things should you think about as you take your 10 minute pause? Here are a couple ideas
Think about other Scriptures that connect with your passage
A lot of times, improving your Bible reading is about seeing how your text fits in with the rest of Scripture. Taking a 10 minute reflective pause gives you time to think about other Scriptures that relate to that passage you just read. What passages deal with the same topic? Where does this passage fit in with God’s plan of redemption? Are there any passages alluded to in your text?
10 minutes of reflection lets you “connect the dots” and think about how your passage relates to other parts of Scripture.
A lot of times, the Holy Spirit will bring to mind several passages you read earlier that week or heard in a sermon or another believer talked about. Taking a 10 minute pause can give you the time and space to make those connections. One of the benefits is you might see a common theme the Lord is trying to teach you.
Think about situations in your own life which relate to your passage
The 10 minute pause not only gives you time to connect your passage to the rest of the Bible, it also gives you time to examine your own life. What events in your life illustrate the truths in this passage? When have you experienced something similar to what is discussed in the passage? What is going on in your life currently that the Lord might want you to change based on your passage?
Comparing your current life to Scripture is a great way of starting to apply a text. Rather than simply jumping to “what do I need to do”, you start by simply comparing yourself, your character, your life to the realities in your passage. Taking a 10 minute pause gives you enough time to think about your own life in light of truth. Don’t just run to the next passage: let a truth permeate your life.
Parts of Scripture can seem impractical until you pause and examine your own life in light of a passage.
If God is sovereign, then even the passage you read for your daily Bible reading was chosen by Him. Improve your Bible reading by stopping to think about why God might have led you to a particular passage today.What is going on in your life that God might be speaking to?
Think about the ways a passage drives you to prayer
Finally, taking a 10 minute pause gives you space to respond to a text with prayer. What is there to thank the Lord for? Are there any requests that should be made based on your passage? Perhaps a sin needs to be confessed, a promise pleaded, or a song of praise sung. Don’t let your 10 minute pause end without praying your passage back to the Lord.
Scripture should drive you to worship. And one of the simplest acts of worship that you can do “without ceasing” is praying in response to the Word.
Don’t make the mistake of disconnecting your prayer life with your Bible reading. They are integrally related. If you can’t think of anything else, end your 10 minute reflection thanking the Lord for providing you His word. For sustaining you “not by bread alone” but by “every word that comes from the mouth of God.”
Improve your Bible reading by setting aside 10 minutes for reflection
Taking 10 minutes to reflect on your Bible reading is not complicated or difficult to understand. You can start doing it today. The biggest barrier is often time and focus: you feel like 10 minutes might be too much time or you don’t think you can spend 10 minutes straight thinking solely about a text of Scripture. But here is the good news: the Bible was meant to be meditated on.
In taking 10 minutes to simply pause and reflect, you are reading the Bible the way it is meant to be read. Not as a box to check or a “quick read.” But as God’s life-changing, eternal truth that has countless connections and infinite implications for your life. Start today. Discipline yourself to slow down and savor God’s word. Through daily 10 minute pauses, you will train your mind to meditate on God’s word. And this in turn will make you like “a tree planted by the rivers of water that brings forth its fruit in its season and whose leaf does not wither.”
I recently went to Charleston, South Carolina this past week to celebrate one year of marriage with my wife. It was a wonderful trip. My wife and I love the Southeast with its slow pace of life, beautiful moss covered trees, and sandy beaches along the coast. Coming back from the trip, I couldn’t help but think of the blessings of a good vacation. God truly uses all things to conform us to the image of His Son, and vacations are no different.
Good vacations remind you the world is full of God’s glory
My normal work day is incredibly predictable. I wake up in the same bed, get in my car, drive along the same road, park in a normal parking lot, walk the same sidewalk into the building, sit in my cubicle, and spend the day working on my computer monitors which stare lifelessly back at me.
It can be very difficult to remember the Bible says God’s glory fills the whole world when your world is so small. But Scripture repeatedly reminds the Christian that God’s glory is everywhere.
And one called out to another and said, “Holy, Holy, Holy, is the Lord of hosts, The whole earth is full of His glory.”
Isaiah 6:3, emphasis added
One of the blessings of a good vacation is it reminds you that this verse is actually true. When I am caught up in my “usual daily grind,” it is so easy to miss the glory that is all around me. It is so easy to want to get to my desk and computer instead of pondering how “the heavens declare the glory of God, and the sky above proclaims His handiwork.”
Vacations give you a new place, a new context to see this reality. To “see and savor” God’s glory in the world you live in. Seeing new trees, going new places, tasting new foods in Charleston reminded me that God’s world is so much bigger and more glorious than the small corner where I live.
The best vacations give you a chance to enjoy God’s glory in a new place. Even vacations should become avenues to worship.
Good vacations increase your appreciation for the home you have
I don’t know why it is, but one of my favorite blessings of a good vacation is returning home. There is really no feeling like it. You have gone someplace new and enjoyed God’s glory in a new context. But something inside you longs to still go back to the familiar. And when you do, those day to day things you took for granted you start noticing again.
I personally have found myself thanking the Lord for “normal daily blessings” more after coming back from vacation. A job that I like. Coffee brewed myself instead of at a shop. Cooking a meal. Before vacation, these things can seem frustratingly normal and unexciting. But after wandering the wide world and returning to the comforts of your home, all of a sudden you appreciate those comforts all the more.
Before my wife and I left on vacation, we read a “Liturgy for Leaving on a Holiday” from “Every Moment Holy.” One of the ending passages sums up perfectly my feelings on vacations and returning home afterwards:
Bless our journey and our arrival.
Bless our days spent away.
And bless our eventual passage home, that we might return as those who have been revived…(with) strength renewed to shoulder once more the meaningful labor assigned to us in this season.
Every Moment Holy Volume 1, pp 72 Douglas Kaine McKelvey
Vacation revives you to see the meaningful work, meaningful life, meaningful location which the Lord has given you. Sometimes it takes leaving what we take for granted to grow our appreciation for what we have. Good vacations give you the opportunity to return home after your journey and take stock of “every good gift” the Lord has given you.
Good vacations give you the rest needed to keep running the race
Much more could be said about work and rest and how they are discussed in Scripture. One of the blessings of a vacation the rest you receive. Life can become very discouraging and overwhelming, even for a believer. Before I left for my vacation, I had probably the most stressful and discouraging day at work that I have ever had.
But a few days away has allowed me to return to my job with a proper attitude and energy to tackle the problems at hand. The best vacations, in my opinion, are not merely “trips” where you go someplace and fill every second of your schedule with things to see and do. Vacations in my definition should include an element of rest. Why? Because even the most zealous, ministry-minded believers sometimes need to pause.
And (Jesus) said to (His disciples), “Come away by yourselves to a desolate place and rest a while.” For many were coming and going, and they had no leisure even to eat.
Mark 6:31 ESV
Even Jesus planned rest for Himself and His disciples. The best vacations don’t leave you feeling empty when you return home. Vacations are a way for you to catch your breath, refocus on the Lord, and then return home with renewed conviction and purpose.
The Lord can use vacations as a powerful tool to keep you running the race of faith with endurance.
Conclusion
There are certainly more blessings brought about through vacations. The three I have given here are just my personal reflections the day after I got back from Charleston. I have found myself noticing the glory of the Lord around me in creation more frequently, I have become more grateful for good gifts God has given me, and I feel rested and ready for the tasks God has given me.
My hope is that you too will reflect as you take vacations this summer. What is the Lord teaching you? How do vacations aid you in your ultimate purpose of glorifying God and enjoying Him forever? What is the spiritual benefit of this vacation?
So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.
1 Corinthians 10:31 ESV
May even our vacations become avenues to glorify our great God.
As hard as it is to believe, I have almost been out of school working at my current job for two years. When I was an engineering student at Cedarville University, I memorized Proverbs 22:29 for a class. It has been in my mind since as a vital verse on what faithfulness in work looks like.
Do you see a man skillful in his work? He will stand before kings; he will not stand before obscure men.
Proverbs 22:29, ESV
I thought about his Proverb many times since memorizing it. I never expected to live it out less than two years into my career.
In a previous post, I talked about my personal struggle with staying an engineering major. I desperately wanted to switch to Biblical studies, or a type of major I would enjoy more. But in God’s providence, I stuck it out and already I seen the opportunities He has given me. Opportunities I would not have gotten if I had not completed my engineering program.
In March 2021, I met and received a coin from General Raymond, the highest-ranking officer in the US Space Force, in recognition of my work. It was a great honor; one I couldn’t imagine receiving as a student. I certainly didn’t have many “goals” for my job right out of college. When you first graduate, you have no idea if you will even like your first job, much less be good at it.
Through this experience and two years of working out of college, the Lord has taught me three lessons about faithfulness in work. I would share these thoughts with any student at my Church or any professional early in his or her career.
Lesson 1: You don’t change the world your first day on the job
Building relationships, respect, & skill takes time
I disliked my job for the first couple months. It was uncomfortable, I had no idea what I was doing, and I clearly knew the least of anyone in my office. I had no idea what faithfulness in work meant for me. Suffice to say, this was wake-up call after being told for four years that I would graduate and “change the world for Jesus.” Certainly I wanted to, but it’s hard to change anything when you know almost nothing about your job and other people don’t know or respect you.
It takes time. My first year was God teaching me to slow down, practice patience, and wait on Him. I came to realize no one hired me to change the world. No one wanted me to change the office culture or lead my first day in the building. They wanted me to build relationships and skills. And it took some time.
Don’t get discouraged your first year or so in your job. Focus on getting to know the people God has you working with and developing the skills necessary to do your job well.
If you start working out of college with unrealistic expectations, it is easy to get discouraged. You start to ask “is it God’s will that I work here? Did I make the right decision?” Don’t think that just because you are uncomfortable that it isn’t God’s will. Stick with it. Faithfulness in work is a long-term goal.
If you honestly want to reflect Christ to your coworkers and have opportunities to speak about Him, focus less on “doing big things for Jesus” and instead get to know everyone in your office. Get to know their names. Practice humility by admitting you don’t know everything and that you need help. Learn from others.
God gives the opportunities. Work hard at them when they come.
There is only so much you can control. A trap I feel into when I first started working is trying to control what opportunities I got. But trying to manipulate situations to get opportunities to prove yourself is exhausting and often ineffective. Two years into my job, I see that every “impactful” opportunity I have been given so far has been from the Lord. I didn’t force my way into them, He sovereignly gave them to me.
But just getting the opportunity wasn’t enough. I also had to work hard when I was given opportunities. You have to be faithful when God gives you opportunities. I think that starts with gratitude: thanking the Lord for giving you the chance to be on a cool project or move up in the company. Then, you have to actually take whatever opportunity and work hard at it with all the skills God has allowed you to develop.
Hold these two truths always in your mind: you are not responsible for the opportunities you receive but you are responsible for how hard you work at those opportunities.
That is why it is so crucial to focus on developing skills and relationships when you first start your job. If you focus on chasing respect or “impact” or opportunities right away, you won’t have time to develop real skill at your job. If you really want to be respected at work, don’t aim at respect. Aim at becoming skilled. If you have not read the famous C. S. Lewis essay “The Inner Ring” I highly recommend it. It is a convincing argument for aiming at developing skill rather than aiming at being known or forcing your way into situations.
Develop a reputation as a teachable person, a hard-working person, and a caring person your first year.
Wait on the Lord. Be patient. Nowhere has God promised that you would change the world your first day at work. So trust Him and develop skill so when He gives you opportunities, you will be ready.
Lesson 2: A Christian work ethic stands out
Christians have a deeper motivation for work
I work with a lot of high-performing, intelligent unbelievers. And quite honestly, I didn’t expect that to be the case based off what I heard at my Christian University. A lot of times, it seems Christians tell young people there are a few simple steps to having impact at work:
Get hired
Out-perform everyone in your office
Wait for unbelievers to ask you “why are you so amazing at your job?”
Share the gospel with them and repeat
Implied in this oversimplified profess is that you as a believer will naturally be better than anyone else at your job. That simply is not true, especially if STEM fields. In fact, it may never be true. There are a lot of incredibly motivated, hardworking, smart unbelievers who you might never match in terms of work performance.
Christians are not guaranteed to outperform every unbeliever in their office. They are called to have a deeper motivation for the work they do.
That is what separates me from the unbelievers are work. Motivation. As a Christian, you are called to work to the glory of God rather than working to elevate self. It is that simple. In an office where unbelievers boast in self, are focused on money or power, and are driven solely by their own goals, Christians are called to boast only in Christ, focus on pleasing God, and are driven by a theology of work that centers on God’s glory.
When you are driven by God’s glory, you will naturally work hard and produce excellent products. Why? Because God’s glory is infinitely worthy and you as a Christian understand your job is to bear that image and display God’s worth in all that you do. Don’t compare your level of success to unbelievers success to stand out. Let your motivation be clear to those around you, then back it up with action.
Work as if you know and worship an infinitely glorious God and you will stand out in your office, even if you never are the smartest or most successful.
Christians have a God-centered perspective of circumstances
Everyone wants recognition for their work. It is natural in many ways. Besides what motivates you, another way the Christian work ethic stands out is how you deal with recognition or the lack of recognition. For the unbeliever, discouragement and bitterness are proper reactions to negative circumstances at work. Working with difficult people. Getting passed up for a promotion. Not enjoying a project. All of these are just a few examples of situation where the unbeliever looks at a situation and sees simply a roadblock to what they want.
Christians, on the other hand, worship a God who works all things together for their good. Not their success or comfort or pleasure. Their good. And what is that good?
And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers.
Romans 8:28-29, ESV emphasis added
The greatest good God can give us is to make us more like Jesus. So what will the Christian do when the promotion goes to someone else? Keep working hard for God’s glory.
Christian’s don’t let circumstances affect their work. They trust the Lord and keep being faithful.
If you have a rock-solid view of God’s providence in all areas of life, when you don’t get the results you want at work, you won’t despair. You won’t give up. Simply trust the Lord, and keep working. And if you do get the promotion or recognition, you will see that that too is a gift from the Lord. You won’t boast or obsess with promoting yourself. The Christian humbly thanks the Lord for any recognition, draws attention to the motivation for why they work, and then continues to do what God has called them to.
Lesson 3: Serving God looks like one day of faithfulness in work at a time
Noah building the ark is a good example of faithfulness in work
We all love big acts of faithfulness. Martin Luther nailing the 95 theses to the chapel door. Jonathan Edwards preaching and revival breaking out. I could go on. But I think the best biblical example to set our expectation for what faithfulness looks like is Noah. Noah built an ark and condemned the world. That is a pretty monumental act of faithfulness to God.
But ask yourself: did Noah build that ark in a day? Of course not, it took years. Then what did “every day” faithfulness to God look like for Noah? Cut down a tree, use it to build a little more of the ark. Every day was not a big act of faithfulness for Noah. But everyday the little things Noah did demonstrated his faith in God’s promises and built towards the big memorable act of faithfulness: the ark.
I think this is a powerful metaphor for how the Christians should view work. Serving God takes place one day at a time, one act of faithfulness at a time. Faithfulness in work begins with asking yourself each day “What trees does God want me to chop down today? What larger things has He called me to that this tree will help build?”
As you start each new work day, look for small acts of faithfulness God has called you to for that day specifically. Then, think through what those daily acts of faithfulness could be building towards.
Next time your are tempted to think there isn’t a lot of big ways to glorify God at work today, think of Noah. Remind yourself that for a long time faithfulness looked like daily finding a tree and chopping it down.
Aim at the next act of faithfulness, not big awards
We all want to do “big things” for the Lord. But practically, what does that look like? Waking up each day, committing it to Jesus, then doing the next thing He calls you to. Don’t aim at getting awards, money, or recognition. Aim at giving Jesus your best each and every day at your job.
If you are obsessed with recognition and awards and reputation, it will be very difficult for you to stand out as a Christian in your job. Everyone wants those things. There is nothing naturally Christian about craving success and status. Self-focusedness and self-motivation are the obsessions of the sinful world system, not of Scripture. So if you are not aiming at awards, what should you aim at? Jesus gives us an answer:
One who is faithful in a very little is also faithful in much, and one who is dishonest in a very little is also dishonest in much.
Luke 16:10, ESV
When glorifying God is your aim, no task is unimportant or too small. You don’t cut corners because you can get away with it. Smaller projects aren’t a burden to you. Why? Because as a Christian you see every opportunity, no matter how small, as a way to display Christ and His glory. And there is a further promise and warning Jesus gives:
For to the one who has, more will be given, and he will have an abundance, but from the one who has not, even what he has will be taken away.
Matthew 13:12, ESV
When you work hard for God’s glory in little things, it has been my personal experience that God gives you more opportunities to glorifying Him. Matthew 13:12 has become real to me these past two years working. If you aim at daily working hard and glorifying God, God will be faithful to give you further opportunities to do so.
Faithfulness in Work: Summary & Conclusion
I opened this post with a Proverb:
Do you see a man skillful in his work? He will stand before kings; he will not stand before obscure men.
Proverbs 22:29, ESV
I have seen this Proverb become a reality in my experience, even within my first two years working. But when I reflect on how God brought me here, it wasn’t the way I expected. “Standing before kings” came from focusing on developing skill rather than having “impact”, trying to be motivated by God’s glory rather than selfish goals, and aiming at daily faithfulness in the small things rather than trying to achieve big awards.
I don’t know what God has called you to work at. But I hope these brief lessons I have learned are an encouragement to you. Not every day at work is easy and I fall short of all these rules practically every week. But as a Christian, you have the Holy Spirit in you, a God who says “I will never leave you nor forsake you,” and a Savior who said “Lo, I am with you always even to the end of the age.” Faithfulness in work is only possible because of the faithfulness of God.
Let’s get to work.
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May 23, 2020. That was the date I got married. Now and for all my life, my wife and I will be lumped into the category of “COVID wedding.” There is much I could write about how COVID changed our plans and affected our wedding. But as I approach my 1 year wedding anniversary, there are several unexpected lessons God taught my wife and me through it all.
In this post, I want to give you some of my personal thoughts on how God used my COVID wedding to sanctify me and my wife. I think one of the most helpful disciplines Christians can have is reflecting back on past circumstances. When you and I reflect, even in the most inconvenient of circumstances we can see God’s abundant faithfulness.
With that said, here are three very personal lessons I learned from having a wedding during COVID.
Lesson #1: God gets to choose how I glorify Him
What is my ultimate purpose in all I do?
Tough circumstances cause you to question your life. My wife and I (mainly my wife) had spent months planning our wedding. My wife got almost everything lined up months ahead of time. Venues where chosen. Deposits were made. My wife even designed the wedding invitations and save the dates.
Then it all changed.
Within a few weeks, my wife and I saw almost every single one of our plans come tumbling down. There were days and days of tears and fragile hopes. But within the sudden change, there was one question my wife and I kept coming back to:
What is our goal of this wedding? Is our ultimate goal God getting glorified or us getting the plans we made?
A lot of times, you go through life just doing things. Making plans. Climbing up the ladder at work. Attending Church as a habit. The question of why you do what you do sometimes goes unanswered in the day to day mundane.
Sometimes it takes difficult circumstances to cause you to stop and ask “Why am I doing this? Am I living for God’s glory, or not?”
That is what having a COVID wedding caused my wife and I to ask. In the middle of what could have been a very easy and self-focused season of life, God brought about circumstances which forced us to reflect.
Theology can become scary when it comes to life
I love talking about God’s sovereignty. I love talking about how the goal of all of life is to bring God glory. It is easy to talk about these truths to others and sing them on a Sunday morning service.
Then, in March 2020, these truths came to life. I had casually affirmed God’s sovereignty, but it is easy to affirm such a doctrine when you feel you have control over your life. COVID changed all that. All of a sudden, I woke up and my life was not in my control.
And wake up I did. A wedding is something, above all else, you feel like you “deserve” control over. After all, you have waited your whole life for this day! There is never going to be a day like it again! Doesn’t God owe it to you to give you the freedom you need to make it how you want it?
God is either always sovereign all the time or He isn’t. Affirming this truth is completely different than seeing it in your life.
Seeing God actually exercise His free will over my life was scary. I can’t lie and say that it wasn’t. But as time went on, my wife and I came to realize we were shouldn’t be surprised. We were just seeing the truths we already knew being played out in our lives.
Even though it can be scary when God interferes with your life, even that is a grace. God is reminding you who is King of the world. Of your life. And it isn’t you or me.
You cannot control when God interferes with your life or your plans. You can only choose if you will respond in worship, or with bitterness. God is still King regardless.
Two verses that anchored my heart
Thankfully, in the struggle and surprise of planning a wedding during COVID, God did not leave my wife and I without encouragement. God doesn’t just bring things into our life and not also give us the comfort we need. There were two verses in particular that anchored my heart during all the change and disorientation.
The first passage was the final few verses in Habakkuk. Talk about a Bible passage coming to life! I had read Habakkuk several times before, but all of a sudden the verses seemed alive and leapt out of the page.
Though the fig tree does not bud and there is no fruit on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the field produces no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will triumph in Yahweh; I will rejoice in the God of my salvation! Yahweh my Lord is my strength; He makes my feet like those of a deer and enables me to walk on mountain heights!
Habakkuk 3:17-19, HCSB emphasis added
I don’t know about you, but when COVID hit I felt like the fig tree wasn’t budding. I felt like there were no sheep in the pen. It felt like circumstances were falling apart left and right. In short, I felt a lot like Habakkuk in this passage.
But look at the answer Habakkuk comes to: he will triumph in the Lord. Even in the midst of disastrous circumstances. When the worst happens, God is still the source of our salvation. And not only our salvation; the Lord is our strength as well. We don’t get through suffering on our own; God empowers us to walk through it.
These verses comforted me during COVID’s initial quarantine. But as the wedding approached, the question my wife and I had to answer was “should we move our wedding? Should we stick to the same day? What does God want from us?” And it was the final section of the gospel of John which helped us.
(Jesus) said this to signify by what kind of death (Peter) would glorify God. After saying this, He told him, “follow me”…
When Peter saw (John), he said to Jesus, “Lord-what about him?”
“If I want him to remain until I come,” Jesus answered, “what is that to you? As for you, follow Me.”
John 21:19, 21-22
I can’t describe to you the encouragement the Lord gave my wife and I through these verses. In this passage, Jesus tells Peter “by what kind of death he would glorify God.” Peter responds to this by asking about John. Will John die in the same way? What is God’s plan for John’s life?
Jesus response is simply “Don’t worry about John. Follow me.” God gets to choose how Peter glorifies Him. God gets to choose how John glorifies Him. The only responsibility both Peter and John is following Jesus.
As my wife and I looked at our wedding plans, we were constantly tempted to compare our wedding to “normal weddings.” Would we get to have the same amount of guests? Could we have a reception? What about all the joy and attention guests give the bride and groom?
God’s answer to us in this passage: Don’t worry about other people’s weddings or how they happen. Worry about how the Lord wants you to glorify Him in your wedding.
It was a perspective-shifting verse. It isn’t about whether our wedding is “normal” or whether we get the wedding other people get. All that matters is glorifying God with the circumstances He has given us.
God gives different people different circumstances, gifts, & opportunities. That shouldn’t be your main focus. Focus on stewarding what God has given you
God gets to choose how you glorify Him. Period. Once my wife and I realized a COVID wedding was God’s choice for us, we were able to accept his will and move on from there. We stopped asking “why us God?” and starting asking “what do you want us to do?”
Lesson #2: There are blessings when you accept God’s will
There are opportunities even in the worst circumstances
Once my wife and I accepted that a COVID wedding was God’s will for us, we started seeing opportunities God gave us within our circumstances. The first opportunity was getting to live-stream our wedding. We had friends around the world serving the Lord who could not have made it to an in-person wedding. When COVID hit, my Church like so many others was forced to start live-streaming its services.
Live-streaming our wedding allowed people who either could not have made it to our wedding or who we could not have invited because of limited Church space to watch and enjoy our wedding. In an ironic way, although we could only have immediate family physically at our ceremony, more people saw our wedding because of COVID. People which included my unsaved family from across the country. Unsaved friends who might not have been able to attend had time to watch our wedding.
A God-centered life sees purpose and intentionality in everything. Even situations which you would not have wanted for yourself.
Not only were more people able to “attend”our wedding, our COVID wedding blessed my wife and I by letting us focus more on each other and the covenant we were making. My wife told me afterwards that just having the most important people physically there, our family, allowed her to be more present in the moment. We weren’t thinking about people watching us. We were simply focused on the sweet moments of our vows, our first kiss, and the joy of family celebrating with us.
Since we didn’t have a reception, my wife and I were able to end the day less tired. That led to more time with each other in our first day of marriage. And while I did miss getting to celebrate with all the important people in my life, I would not trade those precious first hours of marriage for anything. God gave us a wedding that looked very different from “normal” weddings. But the uniqueness made it special for my wife and I in a specific way.
Unexpected blessings the Lord gave me
But probably the biggest blessing God gave my wife and I through our COVID wedding came after the wedding. Because of the pandemic, the first four months of marriage I was working at home and my wife was looking for a job. What that meant was our first summer together was spent spending every single day together. No heading off to work in the morning. No busy schedule to distract us.
Before I was married, I had heard people talk about Deuteronomy 24:5.
When a man is newly married, he shall not go out with the army or be liable for any other public duty. He shall be free at home one year to be happy with his wife whom he has taken.
Deuteronomy 24:5 ESV
That always sounded amazing to me. Getting a whole year to focus on being with your new wife. But I never imagined I would get anything close to that. After all, modern life doesn’t let you stop your job for a year. You might get a week off for the honeymoon but then it is back to work and “life as usual.”
God gave my wife and I a unique gift: we got to live out Deuteronomy 24:5 more than any other couple I know. A whole summer was granted to us to do nothing but enjoy the happiness of marriage. And even when I went back to work, it was only every other day in person. The Lord gave my wife and I the sweetest gift we could ask for: time together.
Now tell me: if you had a choice, would you rather have the exact wedding you wanted, or four perfect months married after the wedding? Its an impossible question to answer in a way, but for my wife and I, we were happy to enjoy the blessing of a care-free summer newly married. I would not have traded that for a normal wedding. Never.
All this goes to show God still gives exceedingly and abundantly above what we ask or think. Even during COVID. Even in the midst of loss or change.
In acceptance lieth peace.
Amy Carmichael
Lesson #3: Keep the main thing the main thing
Tough circumstances cause you to ask tough questions
When there are difficulties in your life, you tend to ask better questions. Tough circumstances cause you to slow down and think. Cause you to take stock of what is actually important, what actually is in your heart. For my wife and I, COVID caused us to ask a ton of difficult questions about our wedding plans.
Should we move our wedding? Should we proceed assuming COVID restrictions will get relaxed? Maybe we could reschedule the reception. Change the venue. Wait until the fall. Making decisions in ambiguous situations with limited information is incredibly difficult.
But these questions allowed us to ask a more important one: what do we ultimately want? A wedding or a marriage?
Plenty of people have weddings. They are beautiful affairs full of joy and dancing and fellowship with others. But what is that all for? Is all that necessary or required? What makes a “good wedding” or a “Christian wedding” or a “God-glorifying wedding?”
One of the best questions we had to ask ourselves was “Is what God is giving us enough? What is more important: the wedding or the marriage?”
These weren’t easy questions to answer. There were many tears and prayers involved. But ultimately, my wife and I realized that waiting for COVID restrictions to relax wasn’t the path forward. It was difficult giving up our “dream wedding.” But it became less difficult when we asked ourselves what we really were valuing most.
And marriage to us was the important thing. More important than getting what we wanted for the wedding itself.
The object of your happiness determines if that happiness will last
I love weddings. Going to them growing up always made me think of the day I would get married. Weddings always seemed to be the height of beauty and joy on earth. The toughest part of letting go of my “dream wedding” was realizing I would not get what I always pictured my wedding would be. All the pictures I painted in my head would not become reality.
But does that mean I missed out having a COVID wedding? Did I somehow get a “lesser experience”? Was my ceremony a sort of second-class, unfortunate situation to be pitied? Do I need to have a “make-up” ceremony later to make sure I get what I always wanted?
Occasionally, weep deeply over the life that you hoped would be. Grieve the losses. Feel the pain. Then wash your face, trust God, and embrace the life that he’s given you.
John Piper, Desiring God
The question I had to ask myself was simply “what is the foundation of my happiness?” It is easy to say “God is my happiness” when everything else in your life is going well. Tough circumstances reveal your idols. And for me, oftentimes my own comfort is my idol.
But the amazing reality is when your happiness is based in God and in Christ, you can truly have happiness in any circumstance. You can have contentment in all things, because Jesus is strengthening you. And my wife and I were able to experience that happiness during our COVID wedding. It was not what we had planned for ourselves. But it was God’s plan for us. And the reality was God had not changed, He was still always good, and always in control.
Reflecting back on my wedding, I would not change a single thing. God’s will was and is always perfect. The lessons my wife and I learned from getting married during COVID have served our marriage well already. God calls us all to different circumstances; each person gets distinct blessings and trials. But oftentimes, the lessons are the same. One of the best things you can do is reflect back on your own circumstances and see what lessons God is teaching you.
If you want to read my thoughts on finding happiness in the right places, check out my series “Happy?” Follow The Average Churchman on Instagram so you don’t miss any future posts.
I never thought I would enjoy attending a ballet. Ballet always seemed so odd to me. I prefer symphonies or Broadway.
But because of COVID, it has been over a year since my wife and I attended a live performance. We used to really enjoy going to concerts or musicals together. So, when our local ballet was having a Valentine’s day recital, we decided to give it a try.
I was pleasantly surprised.
The evening was a collection of different dances. And as I reflected on attending the ballet that evening, a couple thoughts came to my mind.
Ballet is an example of metaphor
Background to metaphor
I recently read an amazing book on metaphor and its usage in language and society. It was written by a non Christian as far as I know, but the book has profoundly helped my Bible study, my understanding of the world, and language in general.
Essentially, the book defines a metaphor as understanding something you don’t know in light of something you know.
For example, you can take an abstract idea like “knowing” and link it up to a physical reality, like “seeing”. The metaphor, therefore, is “seeing = knowing.”
That is why in your day to day life, you say things like “I see what you are saying.” You literally do not “see” what a person is saying. It is a metaphor.
Metaphor is one of the most useful tools God has given humans to understand the world.
In a previous post, I discussed how God uses metaphor to get across spiritual truth in the Bible. Honestly, if you were to pull out your Bible right now and turn to almost any page, you would find a metaphor.
Parables are extended metaphors.
Proverbs are condensed metaphors.
The Psalms and Prophets use metaphors constantly.
A metaphor is just an equation: X = Y. You equate two dissimilar things. Then you think about how the one is like the other.
A good example is Psalm 1. The Psalmist compares the righteous man to a tree.
At first glance, a person and a tree don’t seem to have much in common. But as a reader, you should stop and ask “in what ways is a righteous man like a tree?”
Once you have set up that equation “righteous man = tree”, you can use the one to help understand the other. In this case, God is communicating a truth about an abstract concept (the righteous man) using a very common object (a tree).
Through the one, you better understand the other.
Music = Movement
Back to the ballet. I think I never understood ballet or even dance for that matter because I did not understand metaphor.
Ballet uses this simple metaphor: Music = Movement.
As I watched the dances move to music by Rachmaninoff or Shostakovitch, I realized what they were doing. Whoever choreographed the dance was doing metaphorical thinking, whether they were aware of it or not.
That realization changed my perspective and enjoyment of my evening.
Every movement, every twirl, every point of the toes was the artists interpretation of the music. Or, to put it another way, ballet transforms something abstract, music, into something more tangible and physical, movement.
The result? The emotions of the music were further highlighted by the movement of the dancers.
Attending a ballet becomes much more enjoyable once you understand ballet isn’t merely to impress. It is interpretive.
As someone who absolutely loves music, I found it infinitely intriguing all the choices a choreographer had to make while listening to music.
What movement evokes the crescendo of the piece? How is the orchestration portrayed by the dances? What dance can capture the longing or the elation of a piece of music?
I found my enjoyment of ballet increase a hundred-fold once I understood it is simply metaphor for my enjoyment.
Ballet is a complementarian art form
For those unfamiliar with the term, “complementarian” is simply the Biblical affirmation that manhood and womanhood are distinct. Men and woman have the same value, but different roles. Desiring God has a good round-up of articles if you want to read further.
While attending the ballet, I noticed the God-given differences between men and women on display. And not just on display: beautiful. Complementary. Elegant.
The woman dancers used their flexibility and grace, the men used their strength.
The unique physical attributes of men and woman worked together in the ballet. The result: something more beautiful than if only one gender was dancing.
Sitting there with my wife on Valentine’s day, I was struck by what a good reminder this was.
A Christian marriage should be like a ballet: two individuals using their individual giftings from God together for the benefit of others.
I think if a preacher is going through Ephesians 5, he can look no further for an illustration than ballet. As an art form, I was surprised at how balanced it is.
The men aren’t dominating the woman or vice versa. There is only graceful movement together. Leveraging each others strengths. Covering up the other’s weaknesses.
What a great picture of Christian marriage! I never thought attending a ballet would become a spiritual lesson.
But isn’t that the beauty of the Christian life?
One of the amazing features of the Christian life is seeing the world through a God-focused, gospel centered worldview. You enjoy more things and learn more things than if everything was mere entertainment.
So, my encouragement for you is simply this:
Try something new. Something you might not understand. Then reflect on it. Examine it by what you know about the gospel and God.
“The whole earth is filled with God’s glory” Isaiah 6 says. It is indeed.
Praise God for ballet and the lessons He teaches us as we go along our way.
