Tag: reflection

not just a sunday sermon
Church is More than a Sunday Morning Sermon

Church is More than a Sunday Morning Sermon

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When you hear the word “Church” what image pops into your head? A sanctuary full of pews? Pews filled with people? People with their Bible’s open listening to God’s Word? “Church” is most commonly used to describe the Sunday morning sermon and accompanying service. You go to Church in order to hear a sermon.

But the Church is so much more than a Sunday morning sermon. In fact, if you equate Church to a worship service between the hours of 10-12 am, then you are going to miss out on a lot of the joy and excitement that the Church is. In this post, I give you a three “mindsets” to develop. Each will help expand what you think about when you hear the word “Church”.

1. The Body Mindset

The Church is a dynamic gathering of Saints

You might have heard the phrase “the Church is not the building, it is the people.” Someone could also say “Church is not the Sunday morning sermon, it is the people.” Men, women, and children who are redeemed by Christ, united by the Holy Spirit, and who have covenanted together in a local assembly. When you drive to Church on Sunday, you are driving to gather with that “body” of people.

Having this “body mindset” keeps you from what I will call “movie theater mindset.” When you go to see a movie, you come in and sit together with a bunch of total strangers. This random group made up of different families and individuals watches the movie together but then leaves to return to separate homes without ever interacting or acknowledging each others’ existence. “Movie theater mindset” is coming to Church to listen to the Pastor preach alongside a bunch of strangers who you do not know and who you do not interact with after service is over.

In contrast, the Church as laid out in Acts is a completely different type of gathering:

44 And all who believed were together and had all things in common. 45 And they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need. 46 And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts, 47 praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to their number day by day those who were being saved.

Acts 2:44-47 ESV, emphasis added

You don’t “go to Church”; if you are a Christian you are a part of the Church, this dynamic body of believers. This means you gather together with fellow Saints past 10-12 am on Sunday morning. It means you see yourself as a part of their lives and realize each Church member is an important part of your life. You have to fight “movie theater mindset” and seek to know those in the pews next to you.

Thinking of the Church as a body changes how you come to Sunday service and how you plan your weeks.

2. Warfare Mindset

The Church equips the Saints to do ministry

Passive listening is the enemy of Christian preaching. I have written about getting more from your Pastor’s sermon and created tools to help you stay engaged during a sermon. Why? Because a sermon is not a motivational speech, a lecture, or entertainment. Preaching is training grounds for the spiritual battle you face each day of your life.

Paul says in Ephesians 4 that the Church “equips the saints for the work of service.” One of the main means God uses to equip you is the Sunday morning sermon. But “equipping” implies not just a passive listening to preaching. It implies that you go out an apply what you learned to your life as you go throughout the week.

Each time you go to Church, God is arming you to go out and fight the good fight of faith the rest of the week.

This simple shift in thinking will completely change how you approach Church. You aren’t driving to an old building on a Sunday morning while scrambling to get kids fed and in the car merely to have a few “positive thoughts” before starting your week. Equipping, not entertainment, is the goal of preaching. Equipping you as a Church member to leave Sunday morning service ready to serve the Lord wherever He calls you that week: at home, at work, with family, interacting with unbelievers. Go into Church to prepare for going out and ministering to others.

3. Eschatological Mindset

The Church is the bride of Christ from every tribe, tongue, and nation

The whole reason I write on this website is because I love the local Church: the average Christians who live their lives week by week seeking to glorify the Lord in their specific, small corner of the world. But sometimes a local Church mindset can lead you to imagine the Church is small. It isn’t. Your little local Church is one piece of a much bigger puzzle. And you see how the puzzle fits together in one of the greatest passages in the whole Bible:

After this I looked, and behold, a great multitude that no one could number, from every nation, from all tribes and peoples and languages, standing before the throne and before the Lamb, clothed in white robes, with palm branches in their hands,

Revelation 7:9 ESV, emphasis added

You need an “eschatological mindset” when you come to Sunday service. This means you see clearly that your local body is a part of God’s plan from all eternity to save a group of sinners through Christ for His glory. Sure, there are problems and difficulties within your body. I am sure it is a struggle some Sundays to get to Church or stay awake during the sermon. Maybe your Church is small and seemingly insignificant. But remind yourself that there is nothing insignificant about a part of God’s plan.

It does not matter if your local congregation is small. It is a part of God’s infinitely wise and glorious plan.

Coming to Church knowing that each Sunday is fitting you and your fellow Church members for an eternal weight of glory puts you in a much more worshipful state than if you come to Church merely thinking about the here and now. Open your eyes to the beautiful Scriptural truth that God is sovereignly saving sinners from every corner of the earth for an eternity with Him. And you, as a Christian, get to be a part of that plan in your little Church.

Conclusion

To summarize, come to Church with these three mindsets:

  • Body Mindset-you aren’t there to just listen to a Sunday morning sermon, you are there to interact with a dynamic body of Saints
  • Warfare Mindset-you go to Church to get equipped by the Word of God to go out and live for His glory throughout the week
  • Eschatological Mindset-your Church, no matter how small, is a part of God’s cosmic plan of redemption

As you cultivate these perspectives, you will find how you think about Church will change from something static and dull to something glorious and exciting.

This post is part of an ongoing series of reflections called “What I learned from…“. If you found this post helpful, share on social media below and subscribe below if you want new articles delivered directly to your inbox. Follow The Average Churchman on Instagram for more content.

benefits of a men's retreat
7 Benefits of a Men’s Retreat

7 Benefits of a Men’s Retreat

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My Church held a men’s retreat this past weekend. This was my Church’s first men’s retreat in years and, as the lead planner for the weekend, I did not fully know what to expect. Would the weekend be spiritually profitable or a waste of time? Thankfully, the Lord blessed the weekend and it was an incredible time of fellowship and focus on God’s word. Now that the weekend is over, I have been thinking about the many benefits of a men’s retreat. 7 in particular come to mind.

1. A focused time of worship

Most Christian’s would agree that worshiping Christ should be a daily priority. However, oftentimes in the busyness of the week, worshiping the Lord can take second priority over more “pressing” concerns. One of the benefits of a men’s retreat is you have time to simply worship. There are little distractions around you. You can’t make excuses. You are stuck in a singular location with other believers for the sole purpose of listening to the Word, praying, and singing.

One of my favorite things about my Church’s men’s retreat was the singing. At Church, you might sing 4-5 hymns on a given Sunday. But at the men’s retreat, we sang 5 hymns each teaching session. There is something about praising the Lord loudly from the heart with a group of believers over and over again that revives your soul. It lifts your affections and reminds you of the surpassing value of Christ. The sheer amount of focused worship which takes place when you set aside a weekend for a retreat is one great reason to schedule one.

2. A structured context for fellowship

As I have written before, most people even within the Church are somewhat lonely and crave connection with other believers. But where to start? Oftentimes, a quick conversation before or after morning worship is not going to cultivate the deep closeness that you crave. A men’s retreat gives the men of your Church a structured context to simply talk and be around one another. Although it can feel “forced” or “artificial” at first, sticking a bunch of Christians together for a weekend of mealtimes, singing, preaching, and free time is fertile ground for growing closeness among your congregation.

The closeness you cultivate with others during a weekend retreat sticks around long after the retreat is over. Those shared memories, those unexpected conversations, those fellow Church members you talked with for the first time suddenly become fuel for future conversations and meet-ups in the future. Shared experiences are powerful means to connect people together. Creating a context for those memories to be made is one of the greatest benefits of a men’s retreat.

3. A temporary step-back from daily responsibilities

Personally, my normal week-day is one long list of responsibilities. I have things I need to get done at work, I have chores that must get done, I have projects to complete and a hundred other things I “need to do.” While responsibilities are good and given by God, sometimes the urgent cares of the day can get your mind stuck on “things below” rather than “things above where Christ is seated.”

A retreat gives you the chance to temporary set aside your daily responsibilities. This isn’t so that you can forget about them. Rather, this temporary break is so you can seek the Lord and ask that He revive your soul. Then you can then go back and do those daily responsibilities with even more zeal for His glory. You can think of a retreat as a time of refocusing and revival. By removing the normal, daily responsibilities which choke your schedule, you have a whole day or two free to seek the Lord with your whole heart. The excuse of “I don’t have time” no longer applies; you have nothing on your “to do list” but to get your mind re-focused on Christ.

4. Teaching that can deal directly with a pertinent topic

Expositional preaching through a book of Scripture is the best way to consistently expose a congregation to the Word of God. However, every so often a “deep dive” into a pertinent topic addressed is needed. It can be difficult for Pastors to pause an ongoing series to deal with specific topics. But one of the benefits of a men’s retreat is you can choose a single topic to focus on for a weekend.

For my Church’s men’s retreat, we had a guest speaker give three sessions on Biblical manhood. The first session was the “theological foundations of manhood,” the second was “manhood in the context of the home”, and the final session was “manhood in the context of the Church.” Then we had a question and answer session with the Elders to directly address some of the pressing issues brought up. All of the teaching was needed, practical, and edifying for the men of the congregation and there was no better time or place to address such a topic than at a men’s retreat.

5. Time for long and lingering spiritual conversations

Is there anything more edifying than conversations amongst believers? I have taught before on how conversations with other believers are mutually encouraging and impart spiritual blessing to all parties involved. But the most beneficial spiritual conversations often require lingering and long discussion. Dealing with tough theological questions or meditating on applications of a text or sharing a specific spiritual struggle all take time. A normal Sunday service does not provide adequate time to talk about some of these necessary things.

A men’s retreat provides time for believers to talk and to talk long. In the course of a weekend, I had multiple conversations on personal difficulties I have been having, discussed what doctrines Christians should divide over and which ones they should not divide over, thought through the different aspects of God’s character, shared my thoughts on what it means for a man to protect his home, and a host of other conversations. I can’t remember every detail or conclusion these conversations reached, but I can still feel the closeness that came from talking openly with fellow Church members.

6. A time to re-prioritize Christ and His Church

Jesus warned that the “cares of the world” and the “desires for other things entering in” could choke the Word and cause it to become unfruitful. One of the benefits of a men’s retreat is it gives you a chance to “clean house” within your own hear, so to speak. What idols have you picked up during the course of living in this sinful world? What desires do you need to crucify? What excuses have you been making for sin that need to be removed?

I believe revival is a sovereign work of God that cannot be manufactured. But simply setting aside a weekend to seek the Lord as a group of believers can revive your heart in a lesser sense. By focusing your mind on Christ and His Church for an entire weekend it reminds you that nothing in your life is half as important as the Gospel. You are reminded of the value of Christ and your heart longs to return to “your first love.” A men’s retreat can be a very convicting time, but that conviction gives you opportunity to repent and refocus your mind and heart on Christ and what He did for you on the cross.

7. Growing friendships within your congregation

On any given Sunday, there are about a dozen people I want to talk to and need to talk to. The question always comes after the last hymn plays: should I find and talk to the people I already know but need to talk to? Or do I go talk with someone I do not know? A men’s retreat gives you enough time to reach out to believers in your body who you seldom connected with. Suddenly a person who you only swapped a few sentences with before becomes a new friend.

Certainly believers are spiritually united in Christ and Church members in particular are committed to loving and serving one another. Yet having real friendships among believers makes all of this easier and more tangible. A men’s retreat gives your congregation the time and space to either develop new friendships or grow old ones. The hope is that these real friendships would continue past the retreat and grow your body closer together.

Conclusion

These 7 benefits of a men’s retreat are by no means exhaustive. But if your Church has not tried to do a men’s retreat or any other type of retreat (women’s retreat, family retreat, elder-deacon retreat, etc.), I would encourage you to start planning something annually. It can be tough to plan and coordinate a retreat, but the spiritual benefits of a men’s retreat far outweigh any difficulty you might have getting it set up.

This post is part of an ongoing series called “What I learned from…” If you found this post helpful, share it on social media and subscribe below. Follow The Average Churchman on Instagram to get more content.

doctrinal tiers
An Alternative to Doctrinal Tiers

An Alternative to Doctrinal Tiers

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You have probably heard the phrase “doctrinal tiers” at some point if you have been involved at Church for any length of time. Each Church I have attended in both my childhood and adult life have either mentioned doctrinal tiers or explicitly included them on their Church website. Suffice to say, at some point in your life I have no doubt you will encounter doctrinal tiers if you attend a Bible-preaching Church.

But what are “doctrinal tiers?” Is it a helpful concept? Are there any problems with using it? And is there a better way to solve the same problems doctrinal tiers tries to solve? In this post, I want to answer each of these questions and, in particular, propose an alternative to doctrinal tiers which I call “doctrinal uncertainty.”

What are doctrinal tiers?

Doctrinal tiers are a means to categorize different Bible doctrines in order of importance, orthodoxy or necessity of belief. The number of tiers, what each tier contains, and how the tiers are used varies from person to person and from Church to Church. I have seen them formulated as a pyramid and as a target. Essentially, doctrinal tiers is a way to answer the question “what doctrines and biblical interpretations can Christians disagree on and yet still be considered orthodox in their theology?“

Knowing what Biblical doctrines are essential to be considered saved and orthodox and what doctrines are “secondary” is a vital and practical distinction to make. And that is really all the tiers are: a method of categorization. It is a way of saying “this set of biblical beliefs you must hold to in order to be considered Christian, but these other issues, while important, have varying valid, orthodox interpretations.”

Generally “first tier” issues are the foundational doctrines of the gospel:

  • Who Christ is
  • What the nature of Sin is
  • What is the gospel
  • How is one saved

And so on. In contrast, secondary or tertiary doctrines include:

  • Infant baptism vs. believers’ baptism
  • The various eschatological interpretations
  • Views on Church structure

And others. From these lists, it is clear the first set deals with doctrines essential for saving faith while the second list deals with different practical matters of Church life and the interpretation of difficult passages.

Now, the concept of doctrinal tiers is important and helpful to a degree. By knowing where the lines of orthodoxy are drawn, Christians can contend for “essential” issues and agree to disagree on other issues. However, there are several problems with the doctrinal tiers model.

Issues with doctrinal tiers

1. Who decides how many tiers should their be and why?

This is a common problem I see when I read about doctrinal tiers: there is no “standard” for how many tiers one creates. Many Churches I know of have either two or three tiers. If you have two tiers, you divide up doctrines between necessary for orthodoxy and doctrines which Christians can disagree on. The three tier model adds another category, typically on doctrines which affect Church practice.

But hypothetically, one need not stop at two or three tiers. Why not four? Five? Ten? At some point the categories end up losing their usefulness, but I think this highlights an issue with the doctrinal tiers model: there is no limit to which you can categorize doctrines by degree of importance. As soon as you open the door for “ranking” doctrines so to speak, there is no reason you have to stop at two or three levels. This can create a situation where some doctrines are seen as “unimportant” simply because they are in a lower tier. Eschatology is a great example: I have met many people who refuse to study the topic because it is “less important.”

2. Who or what decides what doctrine goes in what tier?

This becomes more of a problem the more tiers you add to your model. Who decides which doctrines are essential and which can be safely disagreed upon? For the most part, Christians agree doctrines related to Christ and the gospel are tier 1. But what about different view on God’s providence in salvation? For some people, this is closer to a tier 1 issue than to other people.

Additionally, many of the tier 2 or 3 doctrines in Scripture have a direct relation to tier 1 doctrines. For example, your understanding of the doctrine of baptism (tier 2+) is not independent from what you believe about the gospel (tier 1). And as mentioned above, your view of God’s sovereignty in salvation (most of the time tier 2+) is integral to what you believe about the work of Christ on the cross (tier 1).

The issue with doctrinal tiers is someone has to sort all this out in a way that is not arbitrary. But if you examine what different Churches put into different tiers, you will find enough variation to call into question the process of how the doctrinal tiers are developed. Not every Church agrees with what doctrines goes into what tiers. How then does one discern what the “right” tier is to put a doctrine into? Without some objective or explicitly Scriptural process to decide what doctrines go into what tier, the decision potentially becomes arbitrary.

3. Is there a strong textual basis for doctrinal tiers?

A final critique of the doctrinal tiers model is the Bible generally presents itself as a unity of truth. What I mean by this is Scripture does not label its own doctrines or order them from “most important” to “least important”. Rather, the Bible is presented as God’s revelation to man as a whole. Moreover, doctrines are developed from synthesizing a wide variety of Biblical literature: poetry, prophecy, narrative, epistles, etc. Very rarely does Scripture explicitly say a certain doctrine takes priority over a different doctrine, such as ecclesiology (doctrine of the Church) being in a “higher tier” than eschatology (doctrine of end times).

There are two potential exceptions to this general rule. The first is the Bible puts an enormous emphasis on God’s plan of salvation through Jesus Christ. All other doctrines throughout the different literature forms of Scripture build and point to this central reality. Therefore, one could say the doctrines of Christ & the gospel are in a tier or a class of their own.

The second exception is those portions of Scripture which seem to elevate certain moral commands over other commands. Examples of these would be when God says “I desire mercy not sacrifice” in the Old Testament or when Jesus says the Pharisees neglected the weightier matters of the law. This seems to imply a priority placed on the moral commands of Scripture over and against the ceremonial commands.

These two exceptions, however, are insufficient textual evidence for the doctrinal tiers system. Doctrinal tiers as a model does far more than merely emphasize the importance of the Gospel and it deals with whole Biblical doctrines rather than Biblical commands. Therefore, it could be said there is little internal evidence that one can form tiers of doctrines from the text of Scripture. In fact, the internal witness of Scripture seems to lead readers more towards trying to unify the doctrines of Scripture rather than categorize them in order of importance.

An alternative: doctrinal uncertainty

So, while doctrinal tiers is not a terrible or useless concept, it has its problems and the question must be asked if there is a better way forward. I think there is: rather than talking about doctrinal tiers, Christians should instead use a concept I will call “doctrinal uncertainty.” What do I mean by “doctrinal uncertainty?” There are certain doctrines in Scripture that are clearer and require less interpretation and synthesis than other doctrines. To use a previously referenced example, building out a doctrine of the Church is easier than synthesizing an entire eschatology.

The difference between doctrinal tiers and doctrinal uncertainty is how you group together different doctrines. With doctrinal tiers, you group doctrines by how important they are or how necessary they are to be considered orthodox. Doctrinal uncertainty, on the other hand, orders doctrines by how clear the Biblical text is on any given doctrine, how much interpretation is needed on the part of the theologian to synthesize a doctrine, and how likely it is for any given two people reading their Bible to come to the same conclusion on a doctrine.

Therefore, a doctrine such as the Gospel is less uncertain because the amount of times Scripture expounds/describes the Gospel and the clarity with which the text speaks about it. By contrast, a doctrine such as “gifts of the Spirit” has more uncertainty because there are less texts which address the topic, some of the texts are open for multiple interpretations, and the wide variety of interpretations which exist on the topic.

The doctrinal uncertainty model orders doctrines not by an arbitrary or semi-arbitrary selection by a pastor or theologian. Rather, it looks at where the doctrine came from, what texts are synthesized to reach a given conclusion, and asks “how clear and certain is this conclusion? or are there other other valid, orthodox interpretations?” Therefore, the question of infant baptism vs. believers baptism is framed not in terms of “this is a doctrine which is not essential to the faith” but “this is a doctrine with which there is uncertainty and therefore there are several valid conclusions.”

What are the sources of doctrinal uncertainty? Or to put it another way, why do different orthodox Christians come to different conclusions with the same text of Scripture? I think there are three main sources of doctrinal uncertainty.

Sources of doctrinal uncertainty

1. Different interpretations of specific texts

Certain texts have ambiguous language which lends itself to two or more valid interpretations. Of course, Scripture must be compared with Scripture to choose a single meaning, but any ambiguity in a text introduces uncertainty to your exposition. A good example of this is the beginning of John 3:16. Many English translations say “For God so loved the world…” Certain translations, however, say “God loved the world in this way.”

Why the different translations? Because the Greek word houtos can either refer to a degree or a means. The first translation “For God so loved the world” would therefore mean “God loved the world to this great degree.” The second translation would mean “The way or means in which God has shown love to the world is…” The point here is not to argue for one of these or the other; you can do that in your own study. The point here is the language used in the verse introduces uncertainty.

Different interpretations of language in certain texts is one source of doctrinal uncertainty. Oftentimes, when part of a doctrine is based primarily on a few verses, this uncertainty can become significant if any of these verses uses ambiguous language. When two different Christians choose two different interpretations of an ambiguous verse, they may come to different conclusions on a doctrine.

2. Different synthesis of the data

This is probably the most common source of doctrinal uncertainty. Maybe all the texts you are studying are crystal clear. However, building a doctrine involved synthesizing those texts into a coherent statement on whatever topic you are trying to study. Sometimes, it is uncertain how certain verses fit together. This uncertainty in synthesis leads to uncertainty in the doctrine itself.

This is one reason why eschatology is possibly the most uncertain of doctrines: Christians continue to disagree on the topic because synthesizing all the passages which discuss eschatology is incredibly difficult and lends itself to several valid interpretations. Additionally, many of the individual texts use ambiguous imagery. The reason Christians should not divide over eschatology isn’t because it is a “second level” doctrine per se. Rather, eschatology has so much uncertainty built into it that dividing over it would be foolish compared with dividing over a clearer doctrine such as Christ and the gospel.

A quick look at the different doctrines many people put into the “second or third tier” of the doctrinal tiers system shows that most of these non-first tier doctrines are the ones which have more uncertainty around their synthesis of the Biblical data. Examples are eschatology, Church government, covenant theology, and so on. They are not second tier in the sense of less important than other doctrines. Rather, they have more uncertainty when interpreting all the Biblical data on the topics.

3. Different historical conclusions of the Church

There are certain doctrines which the Church has generally agreed upon for hundreds of years. These doctrines generally have less uncertainty then other doctrines. For example, the doctrine of the Trinity was expressed so clearly in the early Church, that there has been little deviation in interpretation among Bible believing Christians since then. However, other doctrines have always been interpreted differently throughout the history of the Church. If you are dealing with one of these doctrines, you will find uncertainty among the historical conclusions of the Church.

Many “second tier” doctrines are those which the Church throughout history has disagreed upon. I think one of the reasons God’s sovereignty in salvation (i.e. Calvinism vs. Arminianism) is often delegated as “second tier” has nothing to do with it’s importance. Rather, it is an issue that has long been debated throughout the history of the Church. This historical uncertainty leads causes current Churches to adopt a “don’t divide over this issue” stance.

Conclusion: doctrinal tiers vs doctrinal uncertainty

Both the concept of doctrinal tiers and doctrinal uncertainty are useful for understanding and categorizing the Bible’s teaching. They can, in fact, both be used together; one does not need to exclusively use one or the other. Christians must understand what Scripture teaches clearly about salvation and the Gospel while realizing certain texts are more difficult to interpret. Both doctrinal tiers and uncertainty are methods to get at this distinction.

However, while tiers are helpful, I think doctrinal uncertainty is in many cases a better concept to highlight. Doctrinal uncertainty captures not just the difference in relative importance of doctrine, but also the difference between how clearly Scripture presents a doctrine. Doctrinal uncertainty is inherently more focused on the text of Scripture itself. In this way, doctrinal uncertainty is an attractive alternative to doctrinal tiers when dealing with the question of why Christians disagree on some interpretations of Scripture and which interpretations are within orthodoxy.

This post is one of many tools and thought pieces for helping Pastors and those who teach at Church. Click here for more helpful tools. If you found this post insightful, share on social media below and subscribe. Follow The Average Churchman on Instagram to get more content.

holding a baby
6 Spiritually Profitable Things You Can Do While Holding a Baby

6 Spiritually Profitable Things You Can Do While Holding a Baby

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Lately, I have spent a large portion of my days and nights holding a baby. The question I have asked myself during these extended periods of holding him is “how can I redeem this time for spiritual good? Is there anything spiritually profitable I can do while holding my baby?”

The past couple weeks, I have found 6 different answers to these questions. While certainly non-exhaustive, these 6 things have helped me focus my mind on the Lord as I have been walking, standing, or sitting with a baby in my arms. What is the goal of all this? Redeeming the time in accordance to what God says:

Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.

Ephesians 5:15-16, ESV emphasis added

Even if you don’t find yourself holding a baby, no doubt you have free moments throughout the day. These free moments may be short, but they are opportunities to invest in your soul and in your relationship with the Lord. Here are some ways to spend those moments.

1. Pray

Before having a baby, I often asked the Lord to give me more time to pray throughout the day. He certainly answered that request by giving me a son. The first couple sleepless nights in the hospital I sat holding my son in the dark and the silence-alone except for me, my son, and the Lord. I will never forget the sweet times of prayer in the hospital holding a baby I cared so much about and who I wanted to know Christ one day.

This taught me an important lesson:

You don’t have to wait around for an opportunity to pray. You can do it now.

Communion with the Lord is made possible through Christ and that communion is possible at any moment. The key is to take the times of silence God gives you to turn our attention back to Him. Holding a baby is one of those opportunities, but so is a host of other life circumstances. Next time you find yourself having a free moment, keep your phone off. Don’t turn on music or flip on the television. Dedicate those fleeting calm moments to pray to the God who made you, knows you, and loves you.

2. Read

If I am holding my son and he is asleep, I most likely have one hand free. That means I can hold a Christian book or, better yet, the Bible. I normally can get through a chapter or two of Scripture or a couple sections of a book before my son wakes up. I personally don’t care for audio books or e-readers, but I imagine both of these are even more accessible while holding a baby.

A consistent diet of Biblical truth is what you and I need to grow. Like the Psalmist in Psalm 119, you should be longing for God’s word. This longing will manifest itself in picking up the Bible or a book on the Bible any chance you get. Don’t feel like you have to get through Calvin’s Institutes in one sitting. Just have a book nearby and pick it up when you have a free moment.

3. Sing hymns

When I am holding my son, he is not always silent or happy. That means praying or reading might be difficult or impossible. What then can I do? Sing hymns of worship. This has two joint benefits: I get to worship God and my son gets to hear Christian hymns (hopefully soothing him). There are two ways to do this:

  • Have a hymnal nearby
  • Memorize as many Christian hymns as you can

This is one of my favorite uses of time holding my son. And guess what? There are dozens of other opportunities God gives you throughout your day to sing praises to hymn beyond holding a baby. Remember what James 5 says:

Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing praise.

James 5:13, ESV

If you are feeling joy in the Lord, don’t let anything hold you back from singing. You and I have no excuse in the modern world where we have the lyrics and music to thousands of hymns at our fingertips.

Sing to the Lord so your kids can here you praising Jesus.

4. Recite a memorized Scripture passage

I don’t think Christians can over-emphasize the importance of Bible memorization. It is easy to think in a culture where everyone can get the Bible on their phones that memorization is a relic of the past. But nothing could be further from the truth. Memorization is an essential spiritual discipline to get the truth of the Bible inside your head to stay.

Holding a baby is a great time to run through Scripture verses you have memorized. You can recite a whole book of the Bible to yourself and your baby if you have it memorized! This is not some feat only a select few Christians can achieve:

Scripture memorization is a test of consistency and discipline, not of inherent intelligence.

If you want a useful and easy method to start memorizing chunks of Scripture, look here.

5. Meditate on a verse or section of the Bible

If all you can hold in your mind is a single Bible verse, you have a truth you can meditate on while holding a baby. What is Bible meditation? It is musing over and over a part of the Bible, thinking through what it says, what other passages it relates to, and the passage’s implications. The Bible itself extols the value of meditating on God’s words “day and night.”

You know what I find myself doing day and night? Holding my son. Therefore, I have a perfect opportunity each day to live out what God says in Scripture. By meditating on His word, I can, with the Holy Spirit’s help, turn a simple everyday task of holding a baby into a sanctifying time of spiritual strengthening. You might not have time to do a full inductive Bible study every hour of your day. But I am certain if you committed yourself to meditating on Scripture, you could find time throughout your schedule to think over a precious truth or promise or command from God.

6. Listen to a sermon or Christian podcast or teaching

Do you have a phone? Then you have an almost inexhaustible library of Christian preaching and teaching at your disposal. I have half a dozen apps on my phone exclusively for solid, reformed Christian teaching:

  • Expositor FM (they appear to be currently updating their site)
  • Martin Lloyd-Jones Sermons
  • S. Lewis Johnson Sermons
  • Ligonier Ministries
  • Sermon of the Day from Desiring God
  • Grace to You

In fact, I bet your local Church has an online sermon repository which you can access. Why not listen through your Sunday sermon a second time throughout the week? In short, you can hear the word of God preached almost anywhere you go and at anytime you want. So why wouldn’t you take advantage of that?

There you have it: 6 spiritually profitable things I am trying to do while holding my son. Even if you don’t have a baby currently, I would encourage you to take advantage of each free moment you have. You don’t need to have hours on end in a row to pursue the Lord.

Worship God in the little moments as well as the big.

If you want to read more of my reflections on different life circumstances, click here. If you found this post helpful, please share on social media below and subscribe. Follow The Average Churchman on Instagram to get more content.

unexpected lessons from my son's birth
Unexpected Lessons From my Son’s Birth

Unexpected Lessons From my Son’s Birth

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The past week has been a whirlwind. I had to take a break from posting because my son was finally born. The past four days have changed me in too many ways to count. But I thought I would record some unexpected lessons from my son’s birth.

Sometimes the greatest pain proceeds the greatest joys

The first of the unexpected lessons I learned from my son’s birth came from watching my wife go through labor pains. I have always hated seeing my wife in pain, so watching her go through contraction after contraction was incredibly difficult. As the pain intensified, I kept asking myself “what can I do to help her as she goes through this pain?”

The answer came from a phrase a lady from our church shared with us: “You are working to meet your baby.” In other words, the pain my wife was going through was not futile or meaningless. It had a goal. A purpose. And that purpose was to meet our son.

It was watching my wife go through labor pains that helped me understand Hebrews 12:2. Jesus went through the suffering and shame of the cross for the joy set before Him. The joy of our salvation was purchased through the suffering of the Son of God.

looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.

Hebrews 12:2 ESV, emphasis added

Both my wife and I wanted to have a son. But because of the curse of sin, the only way to reach the joy of parenthood was through the pain of labor. God has built in an insightful lesson into the common grace of child birth. We as humans simply want the joy. Immediately. Without delay and without effort. Suffering and pain are especially undesirable for us.

But in this fallen world, most of the joys God has in store for us lead first through pain. That isn’t to say you should love the pain. Rather, like Christ, you should look past the pain to what lies ahead.

To persevere, you must keep the proper perspective.

And if your perspective is fixed on your circumstances or whatever pain you are feeling, you will never see the joy God has in store.

God promises sanctification, not quick relief from suffering

The second of the unexpected lessons I learned from my son’s birth came through the first two nights at the hospital. My wife had only gotten one hour of sleep within 24 hours, so I knew I needed to be the one to stay up with my son. Just for perspective, even in college I had never pulled a straight “all-nighter” and it has been a while since I went with less than 5 hours of sleep.

But as the Lord would have it, the first two nights after my son’s birth included back to back all-nighters. It was truly like living my worst nightmare. I would soothe our son, put him in the bassinet hoping against hope he would stay asleep. Then, I would crawl on the hard hospital couch, pull up my thin sheets only to hear a whimper. Then a cry. Next? A full out meltdown.

Each time I laid my son down more exhausted than the previous cycle, I would pray to God “Please Lord, let my son sleep!” The answer came within 20 minutes: God’s sovereign will declared that I would not be getting sleep. My patience was tested more in those first two nights than they have in the past two years at least.

Reflecting back on the hospital, I realized God never promised or “owed me” letting my son sleep through the night. God’s will for my life is for my sanctification, making me like Jesus in character and action. But all I wanted God to give me quick, instant relief. To make it all go away and make it all better.

But God did not give me relief those first couple nights. And that was a good thing. By forcing me to stay up all night and sacrifice myself for my son and wife, the Lord taught me endurance. He taught me what it means to rely on His strength.

Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

2 Corinthians 12:8-9a ESV emphasis added

I pleaded with the Lord a lot more than three times to let my son sleep. But instead of answering my request how I wanted it answered, God instead supplied the strength and mental focus I needed to stay up with my son. And in the end, my character is stronger now than it would have been if God has just given me instant relief.

Plans are great; God’s will is better

The final of the unexpected lessons I learned from my son’s birth is one I learned when the COVID pandemic completely changed my wife and my wedding plans. That lesson is one I constantly need to hear: I am not the master of my own fate. Or to put it in Biblical terms:

The heart of man plans his way,

    but the Lord establishes his steps.

Proverbs 16:9 ESV

My wife and I went into the labor process with a marvelous birth plan. We knew what we wanted, what we didn’t want, and pictured how it would go. Then, after 9 hours of labor, my wife needed an emergency C-section: the one thing we didn’t want to happen. Within 5 minutes, my wife was wheeled away and I was left with a written out birth plan that no longer meant anything.

God has a persistent and gracious habit of reminding you that He is Lord of our lives. Not us.

In the end, wife and child were happy and I could not have been more pleased with how the labor went. Sure it wasn’t “according to plan” or “how we envisioned it.” But as I have written before, our modern culture is obsessed with somehow finding the perfect path to reach our goals.

But God alone has all wisdom and foreknowledge. My wife and I enjoyed planning what we wanted in our labor, but in the end, we had no power to bring our plan to pass. God alone has that power. As Paul says in Romans, from God, through God, and to God is everything. That includes our son and how he entered the world.

Conclusion

I hope to return to writing more regularly in the weeks ahead. But honestly, I have appreciated the time to just experience the novelty and life changing experience of becoming a parent. God is already growing my character and perspective. These are only three of many lessons I have been reflecting on. One of the great blessings of knowing the God of the universe through Jesus Christ is being able to look back on experiences and say

  • God ordained that situation as part of His plan for my life
  • God has a purpose in letting me go through that circumstance
  • Therefore, I can look at everything I experience and ask “What is God teaching me?”

Whether you are married, single, child-less, or with a full quiver, don’t ever stop reflecting on what God is showing you in each season of life.

This post if part of an ongoing series of reflection pieces called “What I learned from…” Read other posts in this series here. If you found this post helpful, share and subscribe below. Follow The Average Churchman on Instagram to get thought-provoking quotes and resource recommendations weekly.

under-discussed aspects of the Christian life
4 Under-discussed Aspects of the Christian Life

4 Under-discussed Aspects of the Christian Life

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Growing up, I expected the older I got, the less advice I would need. How wrong I was. I find myself constantly trying to glean as much practical wisdom from other believers as I possibly can. Books, podcasts, and online sermons are all helpful, but there is nothing like talking with a fellow Christian about how to live out your faith in Christ. With that said, I would say there are 4 under-discussed aspects of the Christian life. Aspects which I always crave more wisdom on than I can get.

Why do I call them under-discussed? These are topics which almost every Christian has to think and live through each week. No matter how different an individual week is, most Christians need to go to work, have to figure out how much or little to open up their home, interact with other people (both believers and non-believers), and function within a family unit.

Even though these are weekly contexts in which Christians live, I find they are not discussed enough. These topics are not taught on or even talked about in proportion with the amount of time Christians spend living within these contexts. In this post, I want to introduce the four under-discussed aspects of the Christian life I have in mind.

The Christian at Work

This might be the single most under-discussed area Christians need wisdom and teaching on. There are dozens of Christian books on how to study the Bible better and how to function within the local Church. And that’s great; all those books are good and necessary and beneficial. However, most of my week is not spent within the local Church. It normally isn’t even spent in front of a Bible. Most of my week is spent pouring myself into some sort of vocation.

Therefore, most of my practical questions I need answered, most of the interactions I need prayer for, and the context where I am called to glorify God most frequently is at work. In a secular office with a mix of believers, professing believers, and non-believers. You would think there would be more books on what the Bible says about work than there are.

Anyone who has read Scripture through knows God cares greatly about work: how you do work, why you do work, principles for effective labor. Your vocation is a fundamental part of who God has called you to be. As such, there is a lot of daily wisdom needed on how to work in a God-glorifying way.

Biblical teaching on work is especially important because of the temptations which often accompany it. You can idolize work, find your identity in it, work dishonestly, or use your vocation as a way to pursue worldly riches.

Christians everywhere need sound, Biblical teaching to clarify how to do their 9 to 5 to the glory of God and for the fame of Christ.

Pretty much every week I wish I had more Biblical wisdom for interacting at work. I don’t think I’m the only one.

Hospitality

Another task everyone does each week is scheduling. What the family is going to do, what events they are going to attend, and what things will they say “no” to. What normal Christian families do, don’t do, or plan to do each week ties into this idea of hospitality. I agree with Rosaria Butterfield’s emphasis on the importance of ordinary hospitality. But it is another under-discussed aspect of the Christian life where wisdom is needed.

When was the last time you were directly discipled on how to practice hospitality? In my experience, there are Christians who prioritize opening up their homes each week and who know generally what to do, while other Christians struggle with leaving their week and door open for others. Regardless of which camp you fall into, more Biblically informed wisdom and teaching would surely help local congregations get a better grasp on hospitality.

Building Meaningful Relationships

I have written before that I think most everyone is at least a little bit lonely. Humans crave connection. Beyond that, each person interacts with dozens of people each week whether you want connection or not. How should Christians interact with others? How do you cultivate meaningful relationships? There are so many surface level conversations and “friendships”, but how do you get to a deeper place of knowing the other person?

The Bible has much to say about how you are to interact with others, both within the Church and outside the Church. Yet, even though this is a vital topic on most people’s minds and the Bible has much to say on the issue, I have heard very few direct teachings on how Christians build meaningful relationships. Maybe once in a while a topical series on evangelism or discipleship pops up. But because interactions and relationships with other people are a daily reality for every Christian, I would argue there needs to be more discussion around how the Bible guides our relationships with others.

Family Worship

I have read many articles and posts on the importance of family worship. But often after reading those articles, I am left with a pervasive “that is great, but how do I do it?” Christians understand the importance of the family unit. Yet, I fear too little thought is given on equipping each family unit to function to God’s glory throughout the week.

There are plenty of Children’s ministries, Vacation Bible Schools, and other “Church family events” around, but I have yet to hear a formal walk through of what the Scripture teaches on family worship. I have seen examples of family worship done well, but as with hospitality, I generally see one group of believers who do family worship well and another group who does not prioritize family worship. I wonder if this is because they were not taught clearly what family worship is and how to do it well.

Implications

1. Pastors, please be aware of these weekly realities in your congregation

If you are a Pastor, Elder, or teach regularly at your Church, please keep these 4 under-discussed aspects of the Christian life in your mind as you prepare your sermon. Almost every believer in your body will have questions, struggles, or need wisdom in at least one of these areas. As much as your congregation cares about your subtle knowledge of the Greek, they are likely more concerned with how to honor God with their work this next week. Or when to schedule dinner with their neighbors. Or how to structure family worship each evening.

Teachers at Church have the high privilege of bringing the Word of God to bear on the most mundane aspects of daily life.

2. Discuss these topics with other believers

One of my favorite Proverbs is “there is safety in a multitude of counselors.” I guarantee other believers around you have thought about and wrestled with these four areas of day-to-day life. Most of the time, you won’t find whole books written on these topics or hear whole sermons preached on them. But you can grow in applying Biblical wisdom to these four areas by finding other Christians who are already doing it.

For example, some of the best, most insightful “teachings” I have had on Christianity and vocation have not come from a book or from a pulpit. They have come talking with a couple other brothers about their workweek: what things are easy, and what things are difficult. Don’t wait to get instruction on these 4 aspects of the Christian life. “Get wisdom” by taking advantage of the saints around you.

3. Think about these topics during Bible study & sermon application

If you want to grow in godliness in each of these aspects of the Christian life, you are going to have to constantly be on the look-out during Bible study and sermon application. Each text you look at, each sermon you hear, ask whether the text has any bearing on the four areas discussed above. You will be surprised with the frequency with which God speaks to these issues and the wisdom Scripture provides.

These four under-discussed aspects of the Christian life are only a few areas I personally have desired more teaching on. There are no doubt countless more. Just remember: God has provided in Christ everything you need for life and godliness, and His Word is the source of all wisdom and authority.

Christ is Lord of your normal, mundane work week just as much as He is Lord of the Church and Lord of history.

So let us work to better apply Biblical wisdom to each of these aspects of our lives.

For more of my reflections, check out the “What I learned from…” page. If you found this post helpful or encouraging, share and subscribe below. Follow The Average Churchman on Instagram for more content.

communion
The Beautiful Picture of Communion

The Beautiful Picture of Communion

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My Church celebrated communion, or the Lord’s supper, this past Sunday. I have enjoyed this monthly ordinance for several years now, but this past Sunday, something clicked. The Lord helped me see several aspects of communion with a clarity I did not have before. God in His infinite wisdom does not merely give us doctrinal truth in bullet point form. He gives us pictures, metaphors, illustrations so you and I can see the gospel.

Today, I want to reflect on a couple aspects of communion and how these aspects help us remember what Jesus has done. Communion is a rich ordinance and I will not cover even half of its significance and symbolism. But here are three thoughts I had as I took communion this past Sunday.

In Communion You Come to Receive, not Give

I have been reading through the first five books of the Bible for the past few months. Whenever you work through Leviticus in particular, you can’t help but be amazed at the quantity and variety of sacrifices Israel needed to make. In the Old Testament law, you had to constantly bring animal after animal to die for your sins. And yet, despite the constant sacrifices, Hebrews says

For it is impossible for the blood of bulls and goats to take away sins.

Hebrews 10:4, ESV

Contrast this with Communion. When was the last time you brought a bull or a ram to the Lord’s supper? You don’t come to the Lord’s supper with a sacrifice. In fact, you don’t come with anything to give the Lord at all.

You come to the Lord’s supper with a single thing: need. A need for Christ’s righteousness, a righteousness only provided through His blood.

God, on the other hand, comes with the needed sacrifice. And it is a once-for-all-time sacrifice: Jesus. He died, He conquered death, and He ascended to the right hand of the Father. “It is finished” means God has dealt with sin in Christ. You don’t need to “bring something to the table.” You come to receive what God has done in Christ.

It can become so easy throughout the day to day grind of life to lose sight of this. You think that something you do can make you right with God, or at least you might think God’s favor is based on your performance. But you bring nothing to the communion table. Just your sin, inadequacy, shaky faith, and a desperate need. But the table is thankfully already prepared: God has provided Christ for you.

In Communion You Get the Cup of Mercy, not the Cup of Wrath

The “cup” mentioned throughout Scripture. It is a helpful metaphor the Lord uses to communicate spiritual reality to us. Several times in the Old Testament, God refers to the “the cup of His wrath”.

Wake yourself, wake yourself, stand up, O Jerusalem, you who have drunk from the hand of the Lord the cup of his wrath, who have drunk to the dregs the bowl, the cup of staggering.

Isaiah 51:17, ESV emphasis added

Thus the Lord, the God of Israel, said to me: “Take from my hand this cup of the wine of wrath, and make all the nations to whom I send you drink it.

Jeremiah 25:15, ESV emphasis added

When I read these verses, I picture a glass filled up to the very top. God’s just wrath against sin has reached the brim; it is about to overflow. And now, those who filled it must drink. When you drink something, you are “taking it in”. That is the picture here: those who rebel against the Lord must take the fullness of His wrath against their sin.

But that is not the cup Christians get. The cup of wrath is what Jesus drank on our behalf. One of the most profound portions of Scripture is when Jesus prayed in Gethsemane for “this cup to pass”. It was the cup He would drink on our behalf. Jesus took what you and I deserved: the cup of God’s wrath.

What a beautiful reminder it is when get a cup during communion! A cup not filled with wrath, but a cup reminding you of “the new covenant” in Christ’s blood. As you drink, you are remember that you have taken in Christ’s righteousness. There is not a cup of wrath left for you.

In Communion You Get the Bread of Life, not Mere Physical Provision

At my Church, my Pastor is preaching through John 6. He continually emphasizes the point that the crowds came back to Jesus after He miraculously fed them to get more food. But instead of feeding them physically, Jesus teaches them spiritual truth by calling Himself the “bread of life”. Jesus contrasts Himself with the manna Israel received from God in the wilderness. God’s provision was enough to satisfy Israel temporarily, but ultimately physical bread could not bring life. Jesus could.

Jesus provides for our physical needs, to be sure. “Every good gift” is from the Lord. But communion is a time to remember Jesus’ ultimate provision: eternal life. Jesus did not live and die so you could receive physical possessions. When you come to the Lord’s table, God is reminding you Jesus provides you with life.

Just like if you stopped eating you would die, without believing in Jesus you will eternally perish. Communion reminds us “the wages of sin is death but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” God provided manna to deal with His people’s physical needs in the Old Covenant but how glorious it is to remember God provided something so much more in Christ!

Jesus saves, He satisfies, He is all the Christian needs.

And we tend to forget that. Which is why eating a piece of bread each month corporately is a powerful reminder: without Jesus, you have no life. With Jesus, you have eternal life.

Conclusion: Don’t Just Go Through the Motions

Like anything you do regularly, it is easy to take communion for granted. But just like you should treasure each Sunday worship service, you should also thoughtfully and in faith enjoy communion each month (or however often your Church partakes of it). In communion, God is visually and physically displaying for you what the gospel looks like:

  • You don’t bring anything but your sin and need: God provides the sufficient sacrifice
  • You experience God’s mercy in Christ rather than God’s just wrath on your sin
  • Jesus has provided you with eternal spiritual life through His death and resurrection

What could be more practical than to be reminded of these truths? You and I need communion because we are so quick to forget and take for granted. Praise the Lord He knows exactly what we need: to be reminded of the things of “first importance.”

So next time you go to take communion, remind yourself of what you are actually doing. Meditate on the beautiful picture God is painting for you. See the gospel in every bite of bread and sip of wine.

Click here to read other reflections I have written on different aspects of life. Be sure to share and subscribe below. If you aren’t already, follow The Average Churchman on Instagram to get more edifying content.

interacting with others
3 Expectations for Interacting with Others

3 Expectations for Interacting with Others

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Interacting with other people can be difficult. This is true whether at work, at home, or at Church. In fact, sometimes Church interactions can seem the most difficult. Even for the most extroverted extroverts, holding a deep, honest conversation after a Sunday Sermon can prove hard or impossible. However, for a Christian, interacting with fellow Church members isn’t optional:

…addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart

Ephesians 5:19 ESV, emphasis added

If part of our commitment as Church members is interacting with each other and holding meaningful conversations, there is always a need to improve. Improve in our motivation for talking with others and improving our expectations for those conversations. In this post, I want to propose 3 expectations that I have found helpful to hold in my head when interacting with others, particularly fellow Church members.

Expectation 1: Most everyone is at least a little lonely

Everyone craves connection to some extent

“Loneliness” is not just reserved for the husband who lost his wife, the couple who miscarried, or the single who can’t seem to find the right person to marry. Certainly clear, objective, intense loneliness exists everywhere, including the Church. However, I think beneath the calm and collected demeanor most people (including myself) want to project, there is a bit of loneliness in each of us.

This “loneliness” I might also call “the unmet desire for deep, meaningful friendship with others and to be truly known.” It is the man who loves his family and serves the Church, but just wants a good male friend to spend time with every so often. Or it could be the mother with five kids who is worried because she doesn’t feel connected to any of the other young families at Church. Perhaps it is an elder or deacon who feels they must always “have all the answers” and therefore can’t truly open up with any of their congregants.

This “loneliness” is subtle. Beneath the surface. I know of very few people who would share this type of loneliness as a prayer request or openly in a group. But it exists behind the “how was your week?” “It was good” type interactions that can often characterize post-sermon conversations. I could add to this that publication after publication in news and secular studies have argued the way humans are using technology is making us feel more isolated. It seems safe, therefore, to expect subtle loneliness to exist in the lives of those around you.

It matters if you make an effort or not

What is the takeaway? Expect when you look up after the last Sunday hymn has ended that the people around you need and want meaningful friendship and connection. Hold in you mind that, despite their best efforts, no one in the pew around you has attained perfection yet. This perspective does 3 things:

  • It makes you more willing to go up and talk with someone. If someone is lonely around you, your instinct as a Christian should be to help bear that burden. This applies to subtle loneliness as much as it does the more drastic type of loneliness. Don’t ask yourself “should I go talk to this person?” Ask instead “I wonder what this person is going through this past week? Let me go ask.”
  • It encourages you to keep the conversation going. Most people aren’t going to wear a “I am lonely” shirt. But if you expect they have a subtle, underlying loneliness, you are more likely to keep pursuing interactions and conversations with them, even when it is difficult.
  • You see your own need for interacting with others. Don’t fool yourself into thinking you are never lonely to some degree. Christians were made to live in dynamic fellowship with other Christians. You going to talk with a Church member after service will likely benefit you as much as it will the other person.

Like all of these expectations, they might not always be true in every specific conversation. Some people really might have a week where they are not lonely at all. But as a general principle, assume those around you need connection. The only way to help is to start trying to connect.

Expectation 2: Every human being is inherently complex

Good and bad, easy and difficult

No one’s week is a one-dimensional, simple, straightforward movement from one joy to the next. We all live in a fallen world with tensions between easy and hard, good and bad. Even if you have had a generally good week, there were almost certainly difficult experiences you went through. And the inverse also applies: if you had a miserable week, there was almost certainly some good that came out of it.

What is the point? No one’s week was simply “good”. When interacting with others at Church, assume whoever you are talking with is not a simple person living a simple life. There is depth and complexity to every single person who is made in the image of God. Even the person you think is the most “dull” or “uninteresting” at your Church has lived through a whole world of complex experiences this past week.

Get to know other people’s complexities

In both personality and experience, every person you interact with is complex and dynamic. A few implications follow:

  • Do not take the “my week was good” answer at face value. There is more that the other person is not sharing, guaranteed. To get past the “off the shelf” answers, you need to recognize when someone is oversimplifying their experience. If you get a “my week was good,” follow it up immediately with “what things did the Lord teach you this week?” or “was there anything that was difficult for you during this good week?”
  • It might take time, but truly knowing someone is always worth it. Every single interaction with a believer is a conversation with someone who is created in the image of God, redeemed by the blood of Jesus Christ, and is currently in a relationship with the living God. If you let that thought really sink in, there is no reason to ever write another Christian off or categorize them as “boring”. It might take time, but getting to know a fellow Christian is always worth it.
  • Set an example of wise openness in your conversations. By “wise” I mean you don’t dump every single experience of your past week on the other person right off the bat. Just because you had a complex week does not mean every single detail must be shared immediately. But it does mean you set the example of sharing the good with the bad, the easy with the difficult.

Expect that beneath every “my week was good” is a human being who lived a whole week with complex emotions, reactions, and experiences. This helps you see the dignity of those around you and to not oversimplify other people to the point that you think “I understand them. They can’t have done anything interesting.”

Expectation 3: You will have to take the initiative

Start the conversation. Continue the conversation.

So you expect people around you to be at least a little lonely and to be complex, interesting human beings. What now? Understanding both of the previous expectations will get you nowhere without this last one. You, not the other person, will have to start the conversation and keep it going. Who doesn’t love it when someone comes up and starts talking with them? Most everyone appreciates someone who has good social skills, who asks good questions, and can hold a conversation.

Stop assuming that person has to be someone else. Take the responsibility to initiate and continue conversations with people around you. Create the environment where that other person can open up and knows you actually care about them as a person. If you come into Church expecting a line out the door of people who want to talk to you, you have the opposite perspective you need to have.

Come into Church on a Sunday thinking “how many people can I have meaningful, encouraging conversations with this morning?”

Pursue the people around you. A great way to serve other believers practically is to simply take the responsibility to talk with them. Does it get any more practical than this? Beneath every face in your service is someone who wants to be known. Bless such a person by actually trying to get to know them. Sure there might be some awkwardness in initiating a conversation with someone you hardly know. But remember expectation 2: each person is made in God’s image and is worth you trying to initiate a conversation with them.

Small talk to deep talk

I read part of a book last year called “The Fine Art of Small Talk” by Debra Fine. The title interested me because “small talk” often gets a bad rap, especially in Christian circles. “I just want to go deep” or “I don’t want to talk about the weather” are phrases that come to mind. And rightfully so: we were made for deeper connection than small talk can bring.

However, one of the impactful ideas in the book that I appreciate is sometimes you have to start with small talk to get to deep talk. I personally have only a handful of really close friends with which I can immediately go deep. You might have one yourself: the type of person 30 seconds after you call them on the phone you are sharing what the Lord is doing or sins you are fighting or Bible passages that have become precious to you.

That is the exception rather than the rule. If you expect every single conversation you have to immediately and without delay to go to your deepest spiritual reflections, you are setting yourself up for disappointment. A more realistic goal is to start with more “mundane” things and then gradually ask questions to guide the conversation to the deeper things. If you are patient and take the initiative to keep a conversation going, there is no reason why it shouldn’t eventually get to deeper discussion.

But it takes time. And patience. Practice too. I recommend you pick up a copy of “The Fine Art of Small Talk” or a similar book just to start thinking about how to better initiate conversations and engage others. As I said before, don’t expect other people to take that responsibility for you. Become the type of Christian who lovingly pursues connection with those around them. But also become a Christian who is patient in that pursuit and is not afraid to talk about the weather because they know even the weather can become an avenue to talk about the Lord and His goodness.

Interacting with others is tough…but worth it

Interacting with others is a topic which cannot be exhausted in one post. But I think the three expectations that most everyone is lonely, everyone is complex, and you have to take the initiative to get to know them can help you become more effective in your conversations. Interacting with those around you is a command of Scripture, yes, but also a precious privilege for a Christian. You never know: interacting with a person around you might start a friendship, provide an encouragement, or bless your own soul.

It isn’t easy. But it is always worth it. Pray that the Lord would increase your own love so that you truly can “love your neighbor as yourself.” Then show that love in your conversations with others.

Check out my other reflections here. Follow The Average Churchman on Instagram to see books and resources I recommend. Subscribe below so you don’t miss any future posts.

Second quiet time
You Might Need a Second Quiet Time

You Might Need a Second Quiet Time

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”Got Questions” defines a “quiet time” as when a believer goes to “comfortable and rather secluded place in (usually) his own home, where he can draw close to God with no distractions.” Put another way, “A quiet time is a set-aside part of each day for a meeting between a believer and God. It consists of reading a part of the Bible of the believer’s own choosing, and praying.” And I firmly believe most Christians need a second quiet time. Or a third. Or as many as needed.

Certainly one quiet time is better than none. I personally wake up before work to get undistracted time with the Lord. However, as I have continued in my working life, I have become more and more convinced that merely having a morning quiet time is not enough. I find myself longing for a second quiet time in the middle of the day or even another one in the evening. And I think there are some good reasons for this.

A helpful metaphor: coffee

I love coffee. Aero press, V60, espresso, you name it. Every morning I start with making myself a delicious cup to both enjoy and energize me for the day ahead. Now, this enjoyment and energy carries me through the morning and into the afternoon. But something happens after about 1:00 in the afternoon:

The effect of the coffee wears off.

I feel tired again. And if continue the day without making myself another cup, I won’t perform as well at my job. One cup is important and essential in the morning. But to truly get through my day effectively, I might need a second cup. Sometimes, when sleep is lacking and the day is particularly grueling, I might even make a third cup.

I think this is a helpful metaphor for thinking about Bible study and prayer throughout the day.

You might have an amazing morning quiet time with the Lord. But oftentimes, the burdens and distractions of the day cause the sweet effect of communion with the Lord to diminish. The answer: a second quiet time.

If I recognize the importance of multiple cups of coffee to get me through a day physically, how much more do I need multiple times with the Lord to get me through the day spiritually?

Distracted minds that forget easily

I don’t know about you, but it always seems like I have a hundred things going on in my mind. What that practically means is I am a task-driven person. I complete a task. Then I move on to the next. This can be a helpful skill at work and at home, but it often makes me lose sight of the Lord even a few hours after my morning quiet time.

You and I live in a world full of distractions. Email. Social media. An endless list of things to do. And distracted minds tend to forget things. It could be responding to an email or an appointment you made with a friend. But for me, it can become easy to read the Word, have a good time of prayer with the Lord, and then to almost immediately switch into a different mindset when I get to work.

Rather than focusing my mind on the Lord, I immediately go to all the tasks I need to get done at work. As the day goes on, the spiritual encouragement I received from the Lord in the morning becomes further and further away. What is the answer? A second quiet time in the middle of the day can refocus your mind spiritually when you most need it.

Effect of a second quiet time

Work is my “war zone” so to speak. I am among both believers and unbelievers. The temptation to be motivated by wealth or fame or success comes to the forefront of my heart. Fear of man and their opinion of me threatens any boldness I might have to share Christ. It is in the middle of this context that a time with God and in His word refreshes me most deeply.

You don’t just need to start your day with the Lord. You need Him to sustain you wherever you go. Pausing at lunch or for a quick break in the middle of the day gives you that spiritual “boost” you need exactly when you need it. Just like that second cup of coffee allows me to continue to do my work effectively, a second focused time with the Lord can give you the encouragement you need to fight subtle temptations around you and keep your mind fixed on Jesus.

What does a second quiet time at work look like?

1. Pull out your Bible, read it, and think about it

I posted about this last week. Honestly, if you pause for 15 minutes in the middle of your work day, you can read a text for 5 minutes and then let it sit in your mind for the remaining 10. You will be amazed what effects come out of simply stopping at lunch to remind yourself of Jesus, the gospel, and God’s plan for the world. Don’t think a second quiet time needs to be an hour long. Just start with 15 minutes and see what God teaches you.

2. Pause and take 10 minutes (Or more or less) to pray

Sometimes, you won’t get a chance to read and meditate on a Scripture. But I bet during the course of a work day, you walk from one place to another. Why not use that walk to pray to the Lord? Thank Him for the day so far. Ask Him to strengthen you. Remind yourself of His rule over all your affairs. Ask specifically for Christ-honoring responses in the situations you find yourself in. Taking a walk is a great way to give your mind a rest from work, and to give yourself space to pray and re-center yourself on spiritual things.

3. Bring a good Christian book to work to read through

I have a couple books at my desk to pick up and read when I get a chance. Currently, I have one by Piper, one Church history book, a set of Puritan sermons, and a book on manhood. When I get a brief lull from work, I can normally read through a section or a chapter of these books in 15 minutes or so. Choose books that have small, consumable chapters and you have yourself a perfect, bite-sized bit of theology to keep you sustained. Give yourself as many avenues to get to spiritual things as possible. Good Christian books at your desk are great tools to give yourself a second time with the Lord in your workday.

4. Take a walk with another believer and talk about the Lord

I already mentioned walking and praying, but another very sweet and wonderful way to remind yourself of Christ in the middle of your day is to simply take a walk with another believer. I have written before about the amazing potential every interaction with a fellow Christian has. So why not schedule a time to meet up with a Christian in your office? Ask them how their quiet time went, what they are reading, what the Lord is teaching them. Share Scripture. Talk about a Sunday sermon. Simply talking with another Christian can get your mind back on “things above”.

Conclusion: take as many quiet times as you need

On long, tired days, I might have many cups of coffee to get me through. In a similar way, getting through the day spiritually almost certainly will take more than one quiet time. Jesus called Himself the bread of life, living water, the vine in which we abide. In other words, you and I need to stay connected with our savior. Daily. Hourly. Moment by moment.

I highly recommend scheduling a second time in the day to seek the Lord in Scripture and in prayer. If you are like me and brew a couple cups of coffee a day, take some time while drinking that afternoon coffee to read the Bible. Or pray. Read a good book. Find a believer to chat with. You and I need more time with the Lord, not less. I’ll let Paul close this post:

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

Romans 12:2 ESV

An easy way to keep your mind renewed and separate from the world at work is to set aside a second quiet time.

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sunday service
Savor Each Sunday Service

Savor Each Sunday Service

By |

Attending Sunday service can become very mundane very quickly. Oftentimes, it seems like something to check off your list before getting back to your normal life. Sure, some worship services move you or cause you to examine your life in light of Scripture. But more often then not, there is a profound sense of “normal” when you attend your Church’s Sunday service.

Now, you could find text after text in the New Testament which shows you why that should not be the case. The gathering of the redeemed people of God is objectively presented in Scripture as beautiful, miraculous, and necessary. So how can you change your mindset as your approach weekly corporate worship? For me personally, one of the most helpful things to remember is every time your local Church gathers, it is an unrepeatable, unique day God sovereignly ordained for the praise of His glory and for your good.

Each Sunday service has a different spiritual and emotional emphasis

If you just look at the surface level, each Sunday service is similar. You gather. Sing songs. Listen to the word preach. But within every Church’s liturgy, I guarantee there is variety. The songs you might sing this week are centered around a certain topic, like Christ’s kingship. Perhaps there is a new song the worship leader will introduce to the congregation. The sermon text is different than last weeks or you reach a transition point in your Pastor’s sermon series.

Different songs and sermon texts change the spiritual and emotional emphasis in your worship. Maybe one week is a joy-filled service which focuses on the victory Christ has won on your behalf. But perhaps the very next week will emphasize the deceitfulness of sin and the need for you to examine your own heart. My point here is there is variety in each aspect of your Church’s typical order of service. And this variety allows your worship to change each Sunday service.

When you look at your Church bulletin, think about what unique songs and sermon God has prepared for you to sing and hear. See the differences between this week and previous weeks.

Personally, I find it helpful to read through my Church bulletin before it starts and see what songs I will be singing. Doing so helps me to quickly see what kind of service the Lord has prepared for me. My Church preaches verse by verse through books of the Bible, so I can generally expect what the sermon will be each week. However, reading the text before service gets me in the mindset of the text and helps me think about what unique features it has.

Your life circumstances change week-to-week

The songs and sermon don’t just change each week. You change too. Every single week you have gone through unique days with events and circumstances which have not occurred before. Maybe it was an encouraging, easy week full of spiritual victories, peace within your home, and success at work. The attitude you bring to Sunday service after such a week will be vastly different than if you had a week where the car broke down, you missed out on a promotion, and your kids would not listen to you.

The person you are grows and changes and falls under different influences each and every week. You bring this “new you” to every single new worship service. So as you are thinking through and participating in Sunday worship, be aware of what God is showing you about your particular, present life situation. Don’t settle for general feelings and vague applications. Pray that God would show you specifically what He is teaching you in each week’s worship service.

A good practice is to reflect on where you are at in your life and where God is growing you both before and after corporate worship.

For me personally, I like asking myself “why did God want me to hear this sermon this Sunday? What is going on in my life currently that He wanted me to hear that text?” after hearing my Church’s morning sermon. These questions help focus my mind on specifics in my life that God might be using the Church to address. An added benefit is I focus on the uniqueness of each Sunday’s worship rather than just listening to a sermon, checking the box, and moving on with my week.

The people you worship with change week-to-week

But corporate worship is not merely about you and your personal worship of Christ. It is more than that. Corporate worship is about the body of Christ coming together. And once you have this perspective, you realize the people you worship with change week-to-week. That might literally mean the specific people who attend your Church change. Perhaps a long-time faithful family leaves, creating a void. Or maybe a visitor comes who is eager to get connected.

But even if you don’t lose or gain any people in your congregation, I guarantee each and every member of your congregation has had a different week than the previous one. Just like you as an individual come to worship different each week based on your life circumstances, so too does all your fellow Church members. Having this knowledge adds an element of newness every single Sunday.

When you interact with Church members on a Sunday, approach your interactions with the same interest and excitement as if you are meeting a completely new person.

Every single individual in your Church is a “different person” than the one you worshiped with last week. Some have grown more Christlike. Others perhaps have been battling besetting sin every day this week. Don’t let a Sunday service pass by without getting to know fellow Church members anew. If you come to Church thinking no one has changed or grown, you will naturally assume talking with them will be boring or “same-old, same-old.” Remind yourself that every interaction with Church members around you has the potential for mutual encouragement and spiritual growth.

Conclusion: treat each Sunday service as unique

You cannot reconstruct a specific Sunday’s worship service. The songs and sermon are different. You as an individual are different. And each fellow Church member is different. So savor every time you get to worship with brothers and sisters in Christ. The day God has given you to worship Him together is entirely unique and you will not be able to replicate it once it is past.

This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.

Psalm 118:24 ESV

Remind yourself how special each Sunday service is. Remind yourself God, who rules all things, has ordained the day and all that goes one in it. Then, when you are tempted to see corporate worship as a chore or a box to check, you can remind yourself that God is the one who made the day. Notice this. And then rejoice and be glad each Sunday together with your fellow Church members.

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