How Do You Know If You Love Jesus?
“If anyone has no love for the Lord, let him be accursed” Paul says in 1 Corinthians 16:22. Jesus after He rose from the dead asked Peter three times in John 21 “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” These are heart-searching and serious verses. Loving Christ is not an optional part of Christianity. Therefore, there is no better question to examine the state of your heart than simply asking “do I love Jesus or not?” Yet I have often found in my own life that this question can quickly become very abstract. How do you know if you love Jesus? Are there any objective tests to help you assess the state of your soul?
As is so often the case, J.C. Ryle in his book “Holiness” gives a clear and helpful answer on how you can know if you love Jesus or not. His words are worth your time and represent an excellent set of ways to examine yourself to determine if your love for Christ has gone cold. I quote his 8 marks of love below and for the rest of this post, I want to think through how these marks can help you know if you love Jesus. In fact, what Ryle gives below summarizes the Christian life itself powerfully and concisely.
If we love a person, we like to think about him.
If we love a person, we like to hear about him.
If we love a person, we like to read about him.
If we love a person, we like to please him.
If we love a person, we like his friends.
If we love a person, we are jealous about his name and honor.
If we love a person, we like to be always with him.
From “Lovest Thou me?” in Holiness by J.C. Ryle
You know what love looks like on a human level
Ryle’s goal in this section of “Holiness” is simple: if you know what love looks like at a human level, then you already know what it looks like to love Jesus. Each of the 8 marks Ryle gives are based on the simple fact that if you love a person, you behave a certain way towards them. Likewise, if you don’t behave a certain way towards a person, chances are you don’t truly love them. If you love a person, you think about them, talk with them, want to be with them. You are concerned to please that person, you care about that person’s reputation. In short, your love for that person is demonstrated in visible outward behaviors.
Therefore, Ryle in these 8 marks wants you to simply ask “are these things true of me with regards to Jesus?” Do you think about Jesus? Do you long to hear from Him through daily Bible reading and the preached word? Are you concerned with pleasing Him and His opinion of you? Do you love the people He loves and died to redeem? When others speak poorly of Jesus, are you bold enough in your love for Him to defend His reputation? If the answer to these questions is “no” then perhaps your love for Christ has grown cold. You might say “of course I love Jesus!” but if that love is not seen in any of the ways Ryle lists, perhaps you love Jesus in word only.
How do you know if you love Jesus? Examine your life
Asking whether you love Jesus isn’t a trick question or an impossibly abstract inquiry. Love for a person shows itself in inward delight and external expressions. If you have affection for a close friend, you enjoy their company and you might express your enjoyment by making time in your schedule to see them. Love for a spouse is demonstrated in the true delight you take in who they are and also in acts of sacrifice, gifts, and a host of other external expressions of that delight. What Ryle does a great job of in “Holiness” is reminding you and I that love for Christ does not look entirely different from the love we have for friends and family members.
If I told you that there was a person I took no delight in being around or who I was content to give my half best with, you would infer that I do not love that person very much. Similarly, if you want to know if you love Jesus, ask yourself if you truly have any inward delight in Him and whether that inward delight overflows in acts of worship and obedience. Both parts of these are crucial: Jesus said if you love me, then you will keep my commands. This means that there is a necessary connection between love for Christ and obedience to Christ. One is not the same as the other, but both must be present in the life of the Christian.
I think the reason it is so “difficult” to answer the question “do I love Christ?” isn’t because the question is hard to answer. It is difficult because when you truly have even the smallest indication of Christ’s worth or have read enough of Scripture or Church history to know how Christians of the past have loved Christ, you realize that your love for Jesus is infinitely colder than what He deserves. Answering whether you love Christ is difficult because the answer is so often painful. But it is in this moment that you must remind yourself that your love for Christ will never, at its best moment, come close to matching His love for you. Your love is only in response to Christ’s infinite love towards you.
God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
We love because he first loved us.
Romans 5:8, 1 John 4:19
Implications
1. Remind yourself that Christianity is about knowing Jesus, not about religious activity
Christianity is not about seeking some abstract “God”. It is founded on faith and love for Jesus. Your good works may adorn the Gospel as Titus says, but you doing good works is not the gospel. When the Holy Spirit starts working in the heart of an unbeliever, He opens their eyes to see the glory of Christ so that they can say truly “Jesus is Lord.” And it is impossible to see the glory of Christ, His value, His supremacy, His significance, without truly loving Him. Why? Because Christ’s glory was displayed most clearly when He, out of love for you, died to pay the penalty for your sins.
Religious activity can make you feel “Christian”, at least for a little while. But if your Christianity is founded on you doing something for God, it has no root and will die in due time. A true, deeply rooted faith is founded in love for a person: Jesus. Anything less and you will either abandon the faith when trials or persecution comes or other desires will end up choking your faith. Don’t become distracted from the main thing: before you go “do something big for Jesus” or “go to Church” or “live for Jesus” start your day by simply asking “Do I love Jesus? Has my love grown cold for Jesus? Have I spent time with Jesus?”
Love for Jesus is the foundation, the root, the fountain of all true Christianity.
2. Use these 8 marks as a daily or weekly barometer by which to ask yourself “do I love Jesus?”
A marriage that never asks itself “how are we doing?” is a marriage headed for disaster. Life is complicated, difficult, and, despite our best intentions, our affections can change at a moment’s notice. Any serious relationship, like marriage, requires regular check-ups to ensure both husband and wife can correct their behavior or lifestyle as needed. How much more than should you and I ask ourselves “how am I doing?” with regards to our love for Christ? No relationship is more important. Our eternity depends on it and, in our flesh, our love grows cold, our attention is diverted, and sin blinds us to Christ’s value.
What is the solution? Regular check-ups. Don’t become so proud as to assume just because you feel a strong love for Christ today that tomorrow your love will be just as fervent. You are daily faced with external temptations and inward sinful desires that would draw your love away from Jesus. Use these 8 marks that Ryle gives as a structure for examining your heart towards Jesus. Keep a daily or a weekly journal where you quickly jot down how you are doing with regards to these 8 marks. Just as consistent communication and reflection improves a marriage, regularly contemplation “do I love Jesus?” will deepen your relationship with Christ.
Such reflection is painful at times. But no reflection is more important for your life and eternity. Ask yourself frequently “how do I know that I love Jesus?”
Click here to read previous “Book Quote of the Week” posts. If you found this post helpful, share on social media and subscribe below. Follow The Average Churchman on Instagram for more content.