Family Worship is Incremental and Iterative
When I was a single college student, I operated under the assumption that family worship is simple to implement and execute. I expected to find the “perfect formula” soon after I was married and then spend the rest of my life executing that perfect plan. How wrong I was. I am sure for some people, implementing family worship is easy and straightforward. But I would wager for most people, even though you have a desire to start and continue regular family worship, you find that it is easier said than done. This can quickly become discouraging if you don’t remember that family worship is typically incremental and iterative.
Incremental: Little victories build to bigger victories
What do I mean by incremental? Oftentimes, your family worship will not start with a long, complicated liturgy right off the bat. There are a dozen different things you can do with your time: Bible reading, catechism memorization, hymn singing, prayer for your local Church, and on and on the list goes. If you try to do too much all at once, the habit of worshiping together as a family each day actually becomes more difficult to nurture. There is a lot you could do with your family worship time. The question is what is most realistic, spiritually edifying, and glorifying to God way to spend the time that you have.
If you want to start worshiping God together as a family on a consistent basis, start small. Focus on one or two activities primarily, like reading a chapter of the Bible together and then singing a hymn. Your family worship time does not need to become a daily mini-Church service right away. In fact, biting off more than you can chew with family worship is, in my opinion, one of the main reasons so many families with good intentions end up giving up on it. Start small and build up as you go. If you can win little victorious like getting the family together after dinner to read the Bible briefly, then you can slowly add in more features to your family worship time as you go.
Iterative: Changing your family worship as your family changes
“To everything there is a season” the Preacher in Ecclesiastes says. This is true with family worship as well: what you do when your family is young will look different than when your family grows up. Even once you slowly build up your family worship into the time that you want it to be, life and schedule changes will often require you to change your perfectly planned set up. Rather than fighting against the reality that worshiping as a family looks different at each stage, embrace it. If your kids are young and you prioritize singing hymns, great. As they grow up and you want to teach them the catechism, take out some hymn singing time to add that in.
You know your family’s needs and the nuances of their daily schedule better than anyone but the Lord. So don’t feel bad if you have to adjust what you do or when you do it to maximize the time you have worshiping God together as a family. At the end of the day, the goal of family worship should be nothing less than glorifying God and delighting in Him together. Of developing the habit of consistently meditating on God’s infinite value and greatness as a family and then responding accordingly. There is no “one way” or “one method” to do this perfectly in the context of family worship. Be flexible and keep God the main thing, not your planned structure or schedule.
Conclusion: Don’t despise the day of small things
Family worship will look different for each family. And that’s okay. The goal isn’t to have the most complicated or longest time worshiping God together as a family. It is to build the habit of seeking the Lord’s face together as a family unit. The end goal is praising God together and exposing your family consistently to the Word. If you find that it is difficult to develop this habit within your family, perhaps you are trying to do too much at once. Or maybe you need to adjust what “family worship” looks like for your family in this season of life.
If your family worship is short and unimpressive in your eyes, my council would be “don’t despise the day of small things”. Any time worshiping God together as a family is precious and important and beneficial. God can use the small act of faithfulness in gathering your family together to pray or sing or read His Word for His great ends. There will always be more that you want to do with your family worship time. But by starting small and incrementally building and by adjusting your plans as needed you can ensure that your family keeps up the habit of growing in the knowledge and love of the Lord together.
For more of my assorted reflections on a myriad of topics, click here. If you found this post helpful, please share on social media below and subscribe. Follow The Average Churchman on Instagram for more content.