10 Conversation Starters for Church Interactions

I think everyone finds Church interactions difficult from time to time. Sometimes, the problem is with you: perhaps you came to Church with a wrong set of expectations. Perhaps you weren’t excited to come to Church or the week wore you down. But I think sometimes the biggest difficulty people have in Church interactions is simply not knowing how to start a meaningful, spiritually focused conversation.

Whether after a Sunday service, during a small group, or even just meeting one-on-one with another Christian, there is always a need for helpful conversation starters. Conversations starters that create an environment of trust and care which then leads to mutually encouraging spiritual conversation.

Today, I want to give you 10 conversation starters you can use in Church interactions. They are in no particular order, and the list is very much non-exhaustive. But they might start you thinking about how to best initiate a conversation with another believer.

1. What is going well in your life this past week?

You could replace “going well” with any number of related phrases. The goal with this question is to start talking about what actually has been going on in another person’s life. It is very non-threatening: the person you are talking with can think of the good events of their past week and select the one’s they want to discuss. From there, it is easy to continue the conversation and move it into a more explicitly spiritual direction.

2. What things have been tough this past week?

This question is a little more direct and invasive. I wouldn’t necessarily lead with this one unless you know the person pretty well. But maybe after you talk about the good things that went on in someone’s week, they will be more inclined to share what was difficult in their week. Use wisdom with this question. Church interactions need to be based in love and care for the other, so don’t push this question if the other person is not ready to open up in this way.

3. What has God taught you from His word this week?

For conversations amongst believers, I can’t think of any better question. Don’t just focus on life circumstances and talk about your own life. Part of the encouragement of talking with fellow Christians is talking about the Lord. What He has done. What He is teaching you from the word. I personally am incredibly encouraged when I hear what God is teaching other believers in the word. Use this question often.

4. How has God been growing you spiritually this past week?

This question is about how the Lord is orchestrating someone’s life to conform them to Christ. Maybe the person you are talking with has had some victory over a besetting sin. Maybe he or she had an opportunity to evangelize. This question isn’t about just hearing about the other person’s week. It goes a step further and asks how God has worked in another person’s week. I would encourage you to ask this question with increasing frequency, especially if you want better conversations with believers at Church.

Spiritually-focused questions tend to spark spiritually-focused conversations.

5. How was work for you last week?

This question won’t necessarily lead to some deep spiritual discussion right away. But it is an easy way to get a conversation going. Most people can remember one or two major points from their work week. And the reality is, how someone works and lives out their faith at work is an important form of spiritual discussion. How someone practically exercises their faith in Jesus day to day at work is often a good indication of where someone is spiritually.

6. How have things been with your family this week?

Work is one context where people live out their faith. Family is an equally important context to talk about. This question is pretty basic, but you will never learn how someone’s marriage is going or the struggles someone might have raising their kids without asking. The goal of Church interactions is not simply to “know all the details” of someone’s life. It is showing care and love by making yourself available. And family life is one of the most important contexts where another believer might need prayer, wise advice, or encouragement.

The goal of asking another person questions is not to force an answer. It is to demonstrate a care, love, and interest in that person.

7. How can I pray for you specifically this coming week?

This is a good “closing question” but, depending on the context, you might ask it earlier in the conversation. I once read a quote that essentially said “specific questions get specific answers.” So limit your question if you want specific prayer requests. Ask about the coming week so the other brother or sister has to think about what they actually need prayer for in the coming days. And then follow up when you do pray for them. I think a lot of “connection” and “getting to know” fellow Church members comes from praying for one another. By asking, you are already setting the stage for a follow up conversation where you ask “I was praying for ______ like you asked me. How did the Lord respond to the request this past week?”

8. What stood out from the sermon for you?

Church interactions that occurs after a Sunday sermon should often start with this question. Don’t be a Christian who hears a sermon, nods their head, and then moves on to lunch plans. The best way to guard against this is to talk about the sermon with other believers as soon as possible. Another good way might be to use this free sermon meditation workbook and work through it with another Christian. Talking about the sermon will focus your conversation on Christ and His word.

9. What has excited you this past week?

I am always interested in what excites other people. What are they passionate about? What is the topic which they could discuss for hours and not tire? This question gets at that. In Church interactions, you want to get to know the other person as a person. If a lot of friendships start because of shared interests, then you must figure out what interests other people in order to figure out if you have similar interests. Asking what excited a person in the past week will give a picture of their interests. Maybe it is a book they read. Perhaps their garden started blooming. Whatever it is, get to know the people you worship with each week and what “fires them up.”

10. What has caused you to praise God this past week?

Finally, what events or moments occurred in someone’s week that resulted in praise of the Lord? As Christians, we should rejoice when our brothers and sisters rejoice. God is worthy of all praise, so if He proved His faithfulness to a brother or sister, that is reason for you to thank Him for that faithfulness. Let other people’s life events be avenues for you to worship God. As you get to know Christians, notice and remember what God is doing in their lives. That same God, the living God, is active in your life.

I hope these 10 questions will help you in future Church interactions. Maybe keep a couple of your favorites in mind for your next small group. Regardless, seek to know and love those around you. In a lonely culture, simply initiating and continuing a conversations is often enough to make another person feel loved and cared for.

What should you do if you disagree with another Christian? Read this post to learn how to disagree with others in a profitable way. Subscribe and share below, and don’t forget to follow The Average Churchman on Instagram.